JUN 27, 22 .. THE WORD ALCOHOLIC .. CHAPTER 3 and DENIAL .. TRADITION 3

First, let's have a look at Bill Wilson's birthplace, also known as .. The Wilson House ..

When I am asked to share my experience, strength and hope at a discussion meeting, I like to state what my topic(s) are and then begin sharing on them. So when the discussion portion of the meeting begins, everyone knows the topic(s).

Tomorrow Tuesday June the 28th, I am going to share the below thoughts in a meeting.

When I share, I like to emphasize the topic so everyone knows what it is.

So I begin by naming the topics :

The Word : Alcoholic

Chapter 3 of the A.A. Big Book and Denial

The Third Tradition.

It is my earnest and sincere belief that the word Alcoholic kills more of us than anyone would ever care to admit. 

We turn to Chapter 3 of the Big Book and I quote what it says about denial. 

Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attemps to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

Then the Big Book goes on to say ..

Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic.

Now I talk about my own denial. 

My problem is that I drink all liquids in great quantity and I drink them rapidly. I don't sip. I gulp. So IF I could learn to drink alcoholic beverages slowly I wouldn't have the issues that I had before I got sober. This is denial! Denial? It is insanity!

When I die (and at age 85 years it is no longer IF but when), if there is an after life (heaven), and if I go there, and if there is a maker, and if I meet the maker, and if my maker tells me I can ask one question .. My Question Will Be : God, was I really an alcoholic?

If God has a forehead, in light of my drinking history, he well may slap his forehead with the palm of his hand in disbelief because, like happened to Bill Wilson (see pages 120 and 121 of the A.A. conference approved book 'Pass It On') it is God himself that brought me into the life of sobriety. Not into A.A. that came 16 years later.

Then I go into detail about a life changing meeting that I attended in Elko, Nevada back in the late Spring of 1986. The below link will take you back to that Elko meeting.

http://aaphotoshere.blogspot.com/search/label/Tradition%203

So what is the answer to the challenge and the denial that come with the word Alcoholic? Don't use it unless you can 100% fully accept it !

With early newcomers I suggest they replace the word Alcoholic by using the Third Tradition and ask themselves IF they want to not drink alcohol today. 

I myself use and readily accept the below definition : 

I am an Alcoholic because I cannot predict, nor can I guarantee my behavior and my actions, after I take a drink of alcohol.

I was given the gift of this definition of an alcoholic by an Akron long timer, Mary Beth Herndon, who dated back into the 1940's.

Post Script : My share, and the meeting, I felt went very well.

MAY 24, 22 .. DAILY REFLECTIONS READING

 

Today's Daily Reflection reading for May 24 ..

"HAPPY, JOYOUS AND FREE"

"We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free. We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us. But it is clear that we made our own misery. God didn't do it. Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence."

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS p 133

To be honest, not all of the readings in the Daily Reflections book strike a bell with me. But this one certainly did. Odd that I have been reading this book for some decades and today's reading struck home.

In the Doctor's Opinion, Dr. Silkworth writes : "Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol."

Translation : We drink to change the way we feel.

Why do I seldom hear it said that the purpose of A.A.'s twelve steps is to make us feel good about ourselves. The theory being if we feel good about ourself we won't need to drink to change the way we feel. Don't ask me to explain why some of us drink to celebrate our team winning the Super Bowl!

Chapter 5 says .. "If you have decided you want what we have.." and here is a problem. As newcomers what we want is to stop drinking. Then, once we have successfully stopped drinking, some of us feel life would be better if we were still drinking. If we are lucky we then find out what we really have here in A.A. is a design for living, that being what the Big Book and the 12 steps and traditions offer us.

So what is wrong with this picture? I think that all of us have witnessed fellow members who are living in, wallowing in, self pity and self imposed misery of their own making! Seemingly enjoying living a life full of (in some cases) years-long resentments. 

Not I said the Little Red Hen! I truly want to be happy, joyous and free. The greatest gift A.A. has given me is the ablility to look, with God's guidance, within myself and see what it is that I myself am contributing to a situation I am not happy with.

A resentment? Go to page 552 and pray for the person or thing that you resent.

Angry? Anger is a letter from Danger and we are ill equipped to deal with (even justifiable) anger.

Now it gets tougher. Lonely or depressed? Go find another alcoholic to help. Go help another human being. If you have a medical, or a mental health issue, get professional assistance (see page 133 of the Big Book) because we can't treat all human issues within the rooms of A.A.

Don't set yourself up to fail. Watch your expectations. Expectations are resentments waiting to happen! Your sports team can't possibly win every game or be a champion every year.

BUT (and we come back to Chapter 5) :  "If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it..

You have got to want to be happy, joyous and free and be willing to do the work necessary to achieve it.

Is it easy? No it may not be easy. Especially with health issues. Will it be worth it? I hope for your sake the answer is yes. Good luck as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.