On St. Patrick's Day, a friend sent me the below cartoon.
In my family, all of the mental health and other issues are on the Irish side of my family. My Mother was a Casey.
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Yesterday in a meeting, I was asked to name a topic from the first 164 pages of the A.A. Big Book, share on it briefly (5 to 10 minutes), and open the floor for discussion.
I named the topic as Resentment.
I can't talk about resentment without beginning on page 62 of the Big Book.
Selfishness -- self-centeredness ! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so.
From page 64 in the Big Book.
Resentment is the "number one" offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else.
From page 66 in the Big Book.
It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness.
If we were to live, we had to be free of anger.
I love these words : Add the letter D to the word anger and you have Danger.
What to do?
The answer begins with one key line in Chapter 5 How It Works on page 58 of the Big Book.
If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it - then you are ready to take certain steps.
The issue is this : What we have changes.
In the first days of one's membership in A.A., what we have is not drinking alcohol one day at a time. Then we "sober up" and stop drinking. We get a sponsor and we work the 12 step program.
Then? We discover "What we really have in A.A. is a Design for Living".
BUT ? Are you truly willing to go to any length to get our Design for Living.
Do you really and truly want to be free of resentment and anger, do you really and truly want to be happy, joyous and free?
If you want these things, then on pages 551 and 552 of the Big Book, in the chapter Freedom From Bondage, you have our answer to resentment against another person or thing.
BUT? You have got to really want this Design for Living.
It worked for the author of the story and I can personally attest that it has worked for me.
Back in December of 1989, I was "attacked and mugged" at night in the backyard of a friend in Fairbanks, Alaska, that I was staying with. The man who attacked me was a friend of my host. I ended up in the Emergency Room of the Fairbanks Hospital with my injuries.
I then began the above process. I prayed, not for 14 days, but for 16 days before my resentment against my attacker finally lifted.
In the end, against the advice of the local Police and Public Defender, I did NOT press charges against this "well known" criminal who I "had dead to rights" had I proceeded with a criminal case against him.
It works. IF you want it and are willing to go to any length to be happy, joyous and free.