AUG 30, 25.. EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY..

Lately Patti and I have been reading the above Grapevine Book along with some older (1990s up to 2010) Grapevine Magazines reading many articles written by longtime members stating that there is far more to AA than just not drinking.

It all boils down to EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY.

So I decided to "Toss My Hat Into The Ring"

What is it? 

For me it is simple. Emotional Sobriety is being relatively (no we will never be perfect) happy, joyous and free.

Then I have to want this! And be willing to go to any length to achieve it.

For me it takes:

GRATITUDE.. If I can just focus on what I have to be grateful for, then I am NOT focusing on my problems and challenges. For me Gratitude is an action not merely a mind trip.

ACCEPTANCE.. Does not mean Approval. What is, IS. Period.

If I cannot accept what I am absolutely, totally unable to change, I will be out trying to change things I will never be able to change. This is a dead end road of frustration that takes me away from being relatively happy, joyous and free.

Actually using the 12 Steps of Recovery. Walk The Walk! Don't Just Talk The Talk. 

Pause When Agitated. Practice Love and Tolerance of Others. Clean my side of the street. When wrong make amends. etc.

PRAYER and MEDITATION, working together, go a long way helping me find Gratitude and Acceptance.

Good luck on your journey.

JAN 20, 25.. ACCEPTANCE..

I quote our A.A. Big Book, page 417..

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.  .. .. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

Yes indeed. In the above passage, I left out one line that is in the Big Book. 

That line is: Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake.

I was lucky enough to have known Doctor Paul and to have been in his home when he was alive. 

Doctor Paul told me he wishes he had never written this one line because it is the philosophy of pre-destination. God has given mankind the gift of the power of free choice. If nothing happens by mistake why try because it has been decided for you by God.

I found the below images and writings about Acceptance online, courtesy of NATIONAL TODAY / NATIONAL DAY CALENDAR..

International Day of Acceptance is observed every year on January 20 and it is the day to fill our hearts with the sublime powers of acceptance. It is important to be accepting of certain things in life.  This is a day when people all over the world come together to support and embrace the challenges that come along with life.

Acceptance is defined as the assent of a situation, process, or condition without an attempt to change it. We have all at some point in our lives experienced a situation where we were cast off or excluded from a group or a social gathering. Remember the time when you were not picked for a team or when your friends went out to a movie without you. Imagine if being excluded was just a regular part of your day-to-day life. 

In an ideal world, all individuals would be accepted just as they are, no matter how different, no matter how unique. 

Acceptance in simple terms is perceiving reality as it is, what people, places, things and events are rather than what you want them to be. That being said, acceptance doesn’t mean that you can’t work on changing things and that what you’re accepting will be that way forever.

When you learn to accept and you make peace with the way things are, you step out of your way and step forward on the growth path. The more you practice acceptance, the more you see that each moment has a purpose, a lesson to learn, a reason for unfolding the way that it does.

Respecting both similarities and differences of others is good for us. Situations in our lives keep on changing constantly. Accepting every type of situation that we might face, be it good or bad will give us lasting peace and contentment.

We are not limited by our abilities but rather by our imagination and our will to act. The truth is we are all capable of great things. Encourage the people around you to stay strong and achieve things beyond their abilities. 

You should avoid indulging yourself in making people who are different from you feel embarrassed. Try to be respectful and accept all forms of diversity.

May your New Year 2025 be filled with Acceptance.

NOV 26, 21 .. HAVE YOU EVER REALLY NEEDED A MEETING AND CAN'T FIND ONE?

"I really need a meeting! 

"Is there a meeting in there where you are?"

Too funny huh? 

Don't ever forget page 132 of the Big Book .. 

But we aren't a glum lot!

"Are you absolutely positive that there is not a meeting in there??"

"Oh All Right. I understand. With no meeting I'll just go and meditate for awhile."

"And?? Acceptance IS the answer!!"

Meditate. Meditate. Meditate.

May the upcoming Holiday Season be one of Joy and Happiness for you and for your loved ones.

And? If you need a meeting and are not able to find one, then try to practice some Acceptance and Meditation.

JUL 31, 20 .. ACCEPTANCE

In both the Third (page 449) and Fourth (page 417) editions of the Big Book are writings about acceptance.

I partially quote :

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.

 

It took me a very long time before I could embrace the above philosophy.

The story of my accepting the above words began in late July of 1988 when I was in Akron, Ohio, visiting the home of Doctor Bob. At that time (it is no longer the case), on the dining room wall, were photographs of long time A.A. members. I asked one of the staff to point out the photo of the man who wrote the above words about acceptance. I was told that his photo was not posted because he was alive, and living in California. I mentally filed this information in my brain.

In March of 1990, I was attending a 'round up' in San Angelo, Texas. The key speakers at the 'round up' were from the Canyon Club in Laguna Beach, California. During the weekend, I casually said to one of the speakers, "I understand the man who wrote the story Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict (in the third edition of the Big Book) lives in California." He immediately replied,"His name is Doctor Paul. He and his wife Max (who is mentioned by name in the story Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict) live in the Laguna Beach area. Doctor Paul is a member of the Canyon Club along with several of us here this weekend. If you are ever at the Canyon Club on a Wednesday evening, you may see him as he is a regular attendee of that meeting."

Fast forward to June 1992. I was in a Friday night speaker meeting in San Francisco (where I was living at the time) and as is often the case in meetings, when attendees visiting the meeting were asked to identify themselves, one man said, "My name is Fred. I am from Laguna Beach, California."

After the meeting ended, I dashed through the crowd to find Fred and, as I introduced myself while shaking his hand I said to him, "Fred, The Canyon Club is in Laguna Beach and I have heard that the gentleman who wrote the story Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict is a member. Further I was told that if I was at a Wednesday night meeting I might have a chance to meet him."

I continued to hold his hand. He paused, and said to me as he gestured to a lady on his right, "And this is my wife Max!"

Because of his 'fame' within A.A., when he introduced himself, he used the alias Fred so as not to give-himself-away to the large crowd.

That is how I met Doctor Paul. As the fate of human-chemistry would have it, we two bonded and became friends. 

The first time I visited them in their home, I said to Doctor Paul, "I have a lot of trouble accepting what you wrote in the Big Book that acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today." 

Instantly he said to me :

"Acceptance does NOT MEAN APPROVAL ! "

"What is ... IS !  You very well may not like whatever you have an issue with but, if you are powerless to change it, until you accept it you will be unhappy and frustrated to no avail ! "

What a difference his words have made in my life as to acceptance.

Our Serenity Prayer states :

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can. And wisdom to know the difference.

What a gift being able to actively interact with Doctor Paul for approximately ten years was in my life.

"Acceptance does NOT MEAN APPROVAL ! "