JUL 27, 23 .. JULY .. THE 7th MONTH .. THE 7th STEP

Last month I published a Post discussing Step 6.

This Post is almost a "mirror image" of that Post except it refers to Step 7.

Step 7 - Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

Copy and paste is great.

Step 7 - Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

In addition to having known Step 7 for all of your time in A.A., will you all tell me precisely where it says what, if anything, God IS actually going to do?

I do not see where it says, or implies, that God is going to do anything!

All Step 7 says is that we, as individuals, are going to humbly ask God to remove our shortcomings.

Last month, in a meeting, a friend brought Step 7 up and in discussing it pointed this fact out. 

Ask 1,000 members of A.A. what Step 7 says, and my money is that many of them will say, in Step 7, God is going to remove all of our shortcomings.

That sure is NOT what Step 7 (and Step 6 as well for being ready to have defects of character removed) says!

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

In Mongolia, A.A. celebrated its 25th Anniversary during a three day conference beginning July the 7th and ending on July the 9th.

Our best friend in Russia presented the below Ceremonial Token.

I published a Post on my Mongolian Recovery website showing some photos sent to me by friends over there. The below link will take you to that Post. I hope some of you will check it out!

https://mongolianrecovery.blogspot.com/2023/07/jul-4-23-congratulations-aa-mongolia-25.html 

My Post is 100% in English!

JUN 25, 23 .. JUNE ..THE 6th MONTH .. THE 6th STEP

 And what exactly does the below photo have to do with Step 6?

It helped me to get centered and settled as I begin an extremely short Post about Step 6. 

Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all of these defects of character.

Copy and paste is great.

Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all of these defects of character.

Now, in addition to having known Step 6 for all of your time in A.A., will you all tell me precisely where it says what, if anything, God IS going to actually do?

I do not see where it says, or implies, that God is going to do anything!

All Step 6 says is that we, as individuals, are entirely ready to have God remove all of these defects of character.

A week or so ago, in a meeting, a friend brought Step 6 up and in discussing it pointed this fact out. 

Ask 1,000 members of A.A. what Step 6 says, and my money is on them saying that, in Step 6, God is going to remove all of these defects of character.

Let's all smile!

Do you suppose that the Ducks are pondering Step 6?

OCT 25, 22 .. TRADITION 10

I cannot believe this : I have not yet shared my own personal experience about the 10th Tradition. 

In many meetings around the world, it is common to name as a topic, the step that coincides with the number of the month. Often one meeting a month the topic will be the tradition that coincides with the number of the month. And when this occurs, often you will hear muffled groans because, in general, the traditions are somewhat of a bore to some, if not many, members.

October is the 10th month, thus the 10th step is often discussed during October meetings. 

Often you will hear .. 

"The Steps keep us from killing ourself. The Traditions keep us from killing one another!"

"The Steps are for the individual members . The Traditions are for the Groups."

During the 9 months that I spent in Russia carrying the AA message, two things stood out and actually amazed me.

1. Never ever at any time in any meeting, large or small, did I ever hear any resistance or negativity to the word God.

I don't know what I was expecting but I certainly thought there would be some opinions (Do we have to believe in God?) concerning God or a Higher Power.

2. The Russian members were especially interested in The Traditions and often asked me to share my experience and insight into them.

I was certainly happy that I had a strong background in The Traditions.

- - - - - - - - 

Tradition 10 : Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.

The Washingtonian Society was an organization established to help alcoholics. It flourished and did quite well in the 1840's but then quickly failed because it allowed its members to get involved in issues that were outside the purview of helping only alcoholics. 

If you study the 10th Tradition in the A.A. book TWELVE STEPS and TWELVE TRADITIONS, on page 178-179 you will read  .. "The Washingtonians permitted politicians and reformers, both alcoholic and nonalcoholics to use the society for their own purposes." .. "Within a few years they had completely lost their effectiveness in helping alcoholics."

The Question is : How can Tradition 10 be applied to our own, individual lives?

The importance of attending meetings of the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous cannot be overstated.  Out of all the various reasons that members relapse, the number one reason for relapse is that they stopped attending meetings.

This is is why we often warn new members about getting involved in a personal relationship. Often relationships break up with some angst and animosity between the two people. Then, because they don't want to see each other at meetings, they stop going to meetings and they risk losing their sobriety! 

Now we come to my own personal experience this week with another member of the fellowship and how I used Tradition 10 to avoid antagonizing a good friend. If it is possible, I don't want to be-at-odds with any member!

The Green Bay Packers, a famous professional football team, are the passion of Green Bay and, to some degree, the State of Wisconsin. In fact the Green Bay Packers are a publicly owned corporation basically consisting of the population of Green Bay. The people own the team.

My good friend (not his real name) is Yale. Yale was born and raised in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Guess what? He is one avid Packer fan. 

I have come to, I hope temporarily, dislike the current Green Bay Packers quarterback, Aaron Rodgers. And it happens that the Green Bay Packers led by Aaron Rodgers are, at least at this point in the season, having a very poor season with 3 wins and 4 losses. 

Guess what? Knowing how much he likes "his Packers", knowing how he hangs on them, I texted him as follows : 

"Yale .. .. Oh My OH MY .. today's FINAL .. Washington 23 - 21 The Pack !"

He replied : "No reminders please that we SUCK!"

Then it hit me like the proverbial-ton-of-bricks! This is a good friend. This is an issue outside of A.A. I don't want to upset Yale and risk the possibility of having our relationship go-South over an outside issue. 

Step 10 to the rescue. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

I texted him : You know Yale.. After I sent that text I was sorry.. I know.. You know.. all of Green Bay, if not all of Wisconsin, knows how The Pack are doing.. So Yale I plan to refrain from all future comments about The (YOUR) Pack. Some day I'll get into Tradition 10 as is applies. Your Ally.."

He replied : "It's ALL Good!!!"

Then this very evening, a few hours ago, as I sat in a meeting with Yale, before the meeting I very nearly said to him, "Will you be watching The Pack play the Buffalo Bills in Buffalo on Sunday Night Football on NBC?" Knowing the Bills are 10.5 point favorites, the top team in the AFC and may kill poor Dale's Packers.

And? I did as I promised in my text and I said not one word! I just smiled at him and kicked some dirt!

That's How It Works ! IF you work it.

It's called .. Doing-The-Deal !

Ciao4now ..

AUG 24, 22 .. AUGUST .. THE 8TH MONTH OF THE YEAR .. ITS WORD ? .. WILLING ..

It's no secret to anyone following along here, that in A.A. we have the 12 Steps of Recovery.

We also have 12 months in a year.

Accordingly, it is quite common for many A.A. meetings to, at some point during each month, discuss the Step of The Month.

Step 8 is the Step of The Month during August (the 8th month of the year).

Step 8, out of all the other 11 steps, is my own personal least favorite step to discuss.

I had a friend in Hong Kong who was celebrating twenty three (23) years of sobriety one August. To put it mildly, twenty three years of sobriety is very impressive! During the Step 8 meeting, all he could do was to lament, over and over and over again, that he did not think he did a good enough job on his 8th step list!

After the meeting I told him there were people who would do almost anything to have twenty three years of sobriety. Why not be grateful for this amazing feat and to stop beating himself up with the steps? He never again repeated his 8th step lament!

Step 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

I am not alone with my opinion that Step 8 is my own personal least favorite step to discuss.

How can I write the words I am not alone about Step 8 discussions? Because many Step 8 meetings end up being Step 9 meetings where amends become the real topic not the Step 8 list.

Now let's look at the meetings where some people actually keep their focus on Step 8 and do NOT move to Step 9.

Step 8 is an 'action step'. We take-the-action to pick up a pen / pencil along with some paper and make a written list of all the persons we had harmed.

Now we come to the one critical and very important word in Step 8 .. willing !

And in a solid Step 8 meeting the word willing becomes the focus of discussion. 

In the first one hundred sixty four (164) pages of our book, Alcoholic Anonymous, the word willing is mentioned in 36 places.

Here are just a few references to willing outside of Step 8.

Willing to believe in a Power greater than myself (p 47)

Willing to go to any length (p 58)

Willing to grow along spiritual lines (p 60)

We ask God to help us be willing (p 76)

God willing it should not be repeated (p 81)

Willing to turn the past to good account (p 124)

O.K. we agree on the importance of being willing.

Here are two questions that pose a real dilemma to those of us who really get into the depth of the word, willing.

Where does being, or becoming, willing originate within a human being?

I am not sure there is an answer except God or our Higher Power makes a person willing. Absolutely no human being can help or make another human being become willing.

Here is the real puzzler!

Where does a person's willing attitude disappear to when one stops attending meetings, working the program and / or experiences relapse?

I myself don't believe that God, or one's Higher Power, removes a willing attitude from any one! So where does it go?

Hopefully this may help you with Step 8 discussions.

SEP 7, 21 .. GUEST POST .. FROM A LONG TIME FRIEND ..

Meeting alone with my maker at early morning, at mid day, at late afternoon, and just after sunset right before the start of the Milky Way Galaxy Light Show; like a gazillion diamonds tossed out on Black Velvet, yet all moving as if guided by a master pilot!

Who am I to say there is no God?

DEC 29, 19 .. TO A FRIEND .. NEXT TIME TRY GOD

The below suggestion came from the AA Grapevine Magazine, November 2019, A Wind of Spirit, pages 26 to 30.

With regard to your relapses over the years, both of us know this for certain : YOU, and only YOU, have to want this thing we call sobriety.

Given that you do indeed want sobriety, this story is about a member who was suffering relapses.

From the Grapevine story:

Very shortly, on a morning in late July as I got out of bed with the sweats, the shakes, the terror and the obsession, I realized that if I took another drink, I was going to die -- not in a week or a day or two, not on the way to the hospital, but right then. And I thought, in an instant, it seemed, of the one great thing that everybody at the meetings had talked about: God. All the talk about God this, God that, God the other thing, and all the things God had done for those people seemed to flash through my mind, and I cried out,

"God please relieve me of the terrible obsession to drink."

And it was gone in an instant, in the twinkling of an eye. I did not have to drink anymore. I felt clean inside and out for the first time in my life, as if a wind of spirit had blown through me; and I knew that all was well, right now and forever, both here and hereafter, and it didn't really matter whether I lived or died. I just didn't have to drink again -- by the grace of God.

If just one time you can stop short of picking up that first drink, then you can do it again.

Rooting for you!

SEP 23, 19 .. GOD IS EVERYTHING or GOD IS NOTHING .. WHAT A MEETING

I believe that in The Big Book the above theo/philosophy is stated..

God is everything or God is nothing.

Isn't the internet amazing! What do I find on page 53 of The Big Book..

"When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What was our choice to be?"

For me it boils down to this : You believe or You don't believe.

Would you rather believe and be wrong? Or would you rather NOT believe and be wrong?

This evening, into a small meeting in the basement of a large apartment building I entered.

From July of 2015 up until today, I have spoken at a lot of meetings here. I recognized the below room the instant I stepped into it. A REAL, committed, meeting room. 

The small room was jam-packed. The meeting  was 1-1/2 hours. 6:30PM to 8PM.

There were two newcomers. They sat up front and basically I spoke directly to them.

When you have spoken to groups for as many years / decades as I have, you develop a 'sixth sense' about members of your audience. And in every audience, no matter how large or how small, you find those very few who are 'locked in' on you.

Further, when in a foreign country, you also 'sense' when certain members understand what you are saying. In other words, they understand your language.

This meeting-of-the-minds happened between myself and one of the new members. 

I swear to God in the Heavens Above I thought.. 

"He seems to understand ever word and everything that I am saying!"

It was an intense meeting. They all are intense meetings over here. The leader went through the meeting format and then I spoke from 6:40PM to 7:15PM, they took a 15-minute smoke-break. We finished and wrapped-it-up precisely at 7:59PM. I watch my cell phone for the time and, trust me, I know how to end on-time.

Up to me walked the new member who I had locked-onto during the meeting. In absolutely perfect English he said, "Can I ride with you when they take you to your apartment and visit?"

He has a beautiful wife and two gorgeous small children. He is a professional at the CEO level. He is at-the-end-of-his-road with alcoholism. He is only age 30 years. 

I said as we approached my apartment..

"I am amazed at your mastery of the English language.."

"Were you born here?"

"Yes."

"How did you learn to speak such good English?"

Are all of you sitting down?

"I lived in San Antonio, Texas, for five years where I attended university!"

And off we went! Did you go to any Spurs games? Were you a Dallas Cowboys fan? .. And on and on we raced ..

What brought you to A.A.? 

I've a brother and two cousins who run our company. All three are in A.A. One brought me here tonight. My father died of alcoholism. 

He is in extremely 'rough shape'. I am concerned he risks having an alcoholic seizure at doing an instantaneous withdrawal from alcohol. Were we in the United States, I would've immediately taken him to a hospital Emergency Room. I offered to do this here. A major hospital is very close to where I live. 

He promised me he would call a cousin who is an M.D.

He insisted on walking me to the door of my apartment. I then walked him back to the street to assure myself he was OK and had flagged down a taxi.

He called to report he was home safe.

"God? Do I have a young, Mongolian, sponsee?"

God is everything or He is nothing!

FEB 28, 18 .. STEP TWO

Last month I shared about Step 1. 

Now it is time for me to address Step 2.

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, Chapter 5, How It Works, page 59, states :

Step 2 .. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

As I have mentioned from time-to-time, my original sponsor, Bill B from Los Angeles, also addicted to drugs, had a sponsor. This would make Bill's sponsor my 'Grand Sponsor'.

Bill's sponsor was Clarence Henry Snyder from Cleveland, Ohio, who's story, the Home Brewmeister, was in the second and third additions of our AA Big Book.

Clarence got sober in March of 1938, upstairs in Doctor Bob's home, beside the bed, on his knees, asking God for help and praying.

I point this out for this simple reason : In March of 1938, the AA Big Book had not yet been written, let alone published and distributed to the early AA members.

So from Bill B and Clarence I received a somewhat different message about the steps and the recovery process.

I was taught to say Step 2 thusly : Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us from the insanity of the first drink.

To this day, to this moment, I prefer this version (being restored from the insanity of the first drink) of the second step than as published in the Big Book.

Last month, writing about Step 1, I talked about being in a High School Latin class and my not knowing that I could not read the words on the blackboard because of being near-sighted.

http://aaphotoshere.blogspot.com/2018/01/jan-30-18-january-step-one.html

Suddenly, realizing that I had a problem and could not read the writing on the blackboard, could I solve that issue myself? No I could not.

This is all that Step 2 is! Realizing (in Step 1) that I had a problem that I could NOT (Step 2) solve myself. I needed to see an optometrist and get fitted for eye glasses! In AA we need to find God and get some help with our alcoholism.

Simple huh? We are making far too much out of the steps. 

I have a problem (Step 1) and I need help (Step 2) to solve my problem.