JUN 25, 2025.. LET IT GO.. GET OVER IT..

It is amazing to me how critical, how extremely important, just one sentence in the AA Big Book has become for me personally. 

You will find this important sentence on page xxviii (28) in the front of the 4th Edition of the AA Big Book in The Doctor's Opinion: 

Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol.

My personal translation of the above sentence is:

Men and women drink TO CHANGE HOW THEY FEEL.

In my opinion, the purpose of our 12 Steps of Recovery is to make us feel better about ourselves. If we feel good about ourselves then we don't need to use a substance to change how we feel.

Don't ask me why, because I am not able to answer this question: Why on earth do some alcoholics drink alcohol to celebrate their team winning the Super Bowl?

For we alcoholics, that first drink will set up a desire for "just one more" and you all know what happens then!

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Thank you so very much Cindy 86403 for sharing with us the below amazing advice about helping us to feel better about ourselves.

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It's amazing how peaceful your life becomes when you realize it's not your responsibility to regulate other people's emotions, manage their insecurities, pacify their inner wars, heal their wounds, do their inner work, and be the version of you in their minds.

At some point, you have to realize that people will only change when they're ready. No amount of love, effort, or convincing can make them see what they're not willing to face.

You can support, inspire, and encourage but their growth is their responsibility. 

Release the need to fix others and focus on your own inner peace.

Once again, Thank You So Very Much Cindy 86403 for being a Guest Contributor.

MAR 27, 24 .. RESENTMENT.. ANGER.. FORGIVENESS.. AMENDS..

Yes! You betcha! I full well know and realize that it is not August (month 8), September (month 9) nor is it October (month 10), the three months we usually think of when the topic is amends.  

When I received the below thought in a recent text message from a friend in the program, I absolutely had to post it here.

Whew huh?

It took my breath away!

In my opinion, here is the "Bottom Line".

We do not make amends for the other person. We make amends for ourselves. We clean our side of the street with an amend.

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I can't tell you how many times the above words have been true for me. I could write a short book about the times I made an amend to someone I did nothing to nor harmed in any way BUT I did upset and disturb them without having any idea whatsoever that I did when "they unloaded" on me.

How about some "details".

Back in (this is a "SWAG" * as to the year) March of 2000, the Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race was underway in Alaska.

*SWAG - Some Wild Ass Guess.

A friend from the State of Georgia and his wife had come up to Fairbanks and was driving out (it is a 160 mile drive) to Manley Hot Springs to see the race. It is very rare that the Iditarod passes through Manley Hot Springs.

En route out from Fairbanks, he and his wife encountered some problems with their automobile. Someone from Manley passed them and stopped to assist them. Unable to do so, they continued out to Manley, found me and told me of the situation and exactly where they were located on the road.

I immediately contacted Ernie, who long ago passed away, a close neighbor in Manley and also a "best friend" and told him of the situation. He prepared to go out and find them and, if necessary, tow them into Manley.

The stage is set.

Absolutely, totally, 100% unknown to me, my friends from Georgia were able to get to Manley. They did not let me know. They did not check in with me. 

I had absolutely no knowledge they had gotten to Manley!!

Then Ernie (to this day I don't know how he found out) came to my cabin "in a rage" and I mean "in a rage" he "tore into me".

I was "dumbfounded" because I had no idea my friends had gotten to Manley.

Did I owe Ernie an amend?

What exactly did I do wrong?

If I hadn't gotten Ernie involved, nothing would have come of this.

BUT I did get him involved. So I made both a verbal and a handwritten amend to him.

No! Ernie was, in no way sorry for his verbal explosion, and he never apologized to me.

BUT I saved our friendship and I felt that I "did the next right thing".

By The Way! 

In 2002 my friend from Georgia, entered, participated in the Iditarod, and finished the race. The only human being from the State of Georgia to accomplish this remarkable feat of finishing an Iditarod Sled Dog Race.