OCT 25, 22 .. TRADITION 10

I cannot believe this : I have not yet shared my own personal experience about the 10th Tradition. 

In many meetings around the world, it is common to name as a topic, the step that coincides with the number of the month. Often one meeting a month the topic will be the tradition that coincides with the number of the month. And when this occurs, often you will hear muffled groans because, in general, the traditions are somewhat of a bore to some, if not many, members.

October is the 10th month, thus the 10th step is often discussed during October meetings. 

Often you will hear .. 

"The Steps keep us from killing ourself. The Traditions keep us from killing one another!"

"The Steps are for the individual members . The Traditions are for the Groups."

During the 9 months that I spent in Russia carrying the AA message, two things stood out and actually amazed me.

1. Never ever at any time in any meeting, large or small, did I ever hear any resistance or negativity to the word God.

I don't know what I was expecting but I certainly thought there would be some opinions (Do we have to believe in God?) concerning God or a Higher Power.

2. The Russian members were especially interested in The Traditions and often asked me to share my experience and insight into them.

I was certainly happy that I had a strong background in The Traditions.

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Tradition 10 : Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.

The Washingtonian Society was an organization established to help alcoholics. It flourished and did quite well in the 1840's but then quickly failed because it allowed its members to get involved in issues that were outside the purview of helping only alcoholics. 

If you study the 10th Tradition in the A.A. book TWELVE STEPS and TWELVE TRADITIONS, on page 178-179 you will read  .. "The Washingtonians permitted politicians and reformers, both alcoholic and nonalcoholics to use the society for their own purposes." .. "Within a few years they had completely lost their effectiveness in helping alcoholics."

The Question is : How can Tradition 10 be applied to our own, individual lives?

The importance of attending meetings of the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous cannot be overstated.  Out of all the various reasons that members relapse, the number one reason for relapse is that they stopped attending meetings.

This is is why we often warn new members about getting involved in a personal relationship. Often relationships break up with some angst and animosity between the two people. Then, because they don't want to see each other at meetings, they stop going to meetings and they risk losing their sobriety! 

Now we come to my own personal experience this week with another member of the fellowship and how I used Tradition 10 to avoid antagonizing a good friend. If it is possible, I don't want to be-at-odds with any member!

The Green Bay Packers, a famous professional football team, are the passion of Green Bay and, to some degree, the State of Wisconsin. In fact the Green Bay Packers are a publicly owned corporation basically consisting of the population of Green Bay. The people own the team.

My good friend (not his real name) is Yale. Yale was born and raised in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Guess what? He is one avid Packer fan. 

I have come to, I hope temporarily, dislike the current Green Bay Packers quarterback, Aaron Rodgers. And it happens that the Green Bay Packers led by Aaron Rodgers are, at least at this point in the season, having a very poor season with 3 wins and 4 losses. 

Guess what? Knowing how much he likes "his Packers", knowing how he hangs on them, I texted him as follows : 

"Yale .. .. Oh My OH MY .. today's FINAL .. Washington 23 - 21 The Pack !"

He replied : "No reminders please that we SUCK!"

Then it hit me like the proverbial-ton-of-bricks! This is a good friend. This is an issue outside of A.A. I don't want to upset Yale and risk the possibility of having our relationship go-South over an outside issue. 

Step 10 to the rescue. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

I texted him : You know Yale.. After I sent that text I was sorry.. I know.. You know.. all of Green Bay, if not all of Wisconsin, knows how The Pack are doing.. So Yale I plan to refrain from all future comments about The (YOUR) Pack. Some day I'll get into Tradition 10 as is applies. Your Ally.."

He replied : "It's ALL Good!!!"

Then this very evening, a few hours ago, as I sat in a meeting with Yale, before the meeting I very nearly said to him, "Will you be watching The Pack play the Buffalo Bills in Buffalo on Sunday Night Football on NBC?" Knowing the Bills are 10.5 point favorites, the top team in the AFC and may kill poor Dale's Packers.

And? I did as I promised in my text and I said not one word! I just smiled at him and kicked some dirt!

That's How It Works ! IF you work it.

It's called .. Doing-The-Deal !

Ciao4now ..

JUL 27, 22 .. IT'S IN THE BOOK .. AND IT MEANS A LOT TO ME

Nice photo of Alaska.

When I give a talk, I make sure to very clearly name a topic. It is frustrating when a speaker just wanders around in their share and then fails to name a topic.

I am going to give a talk later and (taa daa) today's topic is :

IT'S IN THE BOOK .. 

AND IT MEANS A LOT TO ME..

Please share YOUR own special passages in the A.A. Big Book.

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Why do people drink alcohol?

IT'S IN THE BOOK (The Doctor's Opinion) and IT MEANS A LOT TO ME

Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol.

Translation : Men and women drink to change how they feel!

IT'S NOT IN THE BOOK (and I don't hear the below words said in meetings) BUT SHOULD BE..

The purpose of the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous is to make us feel good about ourselves! The theory being, IF we feel good about ourselves, we don't need alcohol to change how we are feeling. I can't explain why an alcoholic drinks (knowing what is going to happen) to 'celebrate' after their team wins the Super Bowl.

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Stopping drinking isn't the issue, staying stopped is the issue!

IT'S IN THE BOOK (page 553, the final story) and IT MEANS A LOT TO ME..

It's no great trick to stop drinking; the trick is to stay stopped. To do that, I had to come to A.A. to learn how to handle sobriety -- which is what I could not handle in the first place. That's why I drank. 

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What to do about your alcoholism?

IT'S IN THE BOOK (page 58, How It Works) and IT MEANS A LOT TO ME..

If you have decided you want what we have, and are willing to go to any length to get it -- then you are ready to take certain steps.

For me it means to continue to do steps 10, 11 and 12!

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After one has stopped, or is even still in the process of stopping drinking, what is the best action to take?

IT'S IN THE BOOK (page 89, Working With Others and page 15 as well) and IT MEANS A LOT TO ME..

Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail.

We would not exist if, back in the early days, people with one day of not drinking had not themselves gone to St. Thomas Hospital to help 'the man in the hospital bed'.

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A challenge we all seem to face?

IT'S IN THE BOOK (page 62, How It Works see also page 14, Bill's Story) and IT MEANS A LOT TO ME..

Selfishness -- self-centeredness. That we think is the root of our troubles.

One of MY solutions..

I focus upon the below sentence of the Third Step Prayer. 

Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy Will.

Road rage is an example of being selfish and self-centered. Get out of my way! Don't you know I have things to do and places to be!

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When I GET aggitated, when I get angry, what do I do?

IT'S IN THE BOOK (page 87, Into Action) and IT MEANS A LOT TO ME..

As we go through the day we pause, when aggitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action.

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Bottom Line? What have we really got in A.A.?

IT'S IN THE BOOK (pages 15, 28 and 81) and IT MEANS A LOT TO ME..

It is a design for living that works in rough going. A new life has been given us or, if you prefer, "A design for living" that really works. 

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Another challenge we all seem to face? Stopping or cutting back on 'doing the deal'.

IT'S IN THE BOOK (page 85, Into Action) and IT MEANS A LOT TO ME..

It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent upon the maintenance of our spiritual condition.

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Enough for me. 

The topic is : Please share with the group some of your very own special passages in the Big Book.

Below for you to enjoy, is a photo of Doctor Bob's Home in Akron, Ohio.

Thanks for allowing me to share the above thoughts with you. 

By the way, IF there are any newcomers in the meeting, I immediately go to a Step One meeting format.

JAN 28, 21 .. MAKING AN AMEND

Here in A.A., it is so important to actually do-the-deal, walk-the-walk and not just talk-the-talk when it comes to following our Design for Living.

When it comes to amends, we have two steps to turn to, Steps 9 and 10. In my opinion, the Step 9 amends are done in response to our work in Step 4.

When it comes to living our lives, one day at a time, when we get into a (call it) challenging situation and feel we need to get some relief or respite from something that we have done, then Step 10 comes into play, at least for me.

One of the key principles is simply this : In general, we make amends to help ourselves to clean away the wreckage that we have created. 

Often this does NOT mean we did anything wrong. We can be 100% clear of conscience in that we have done absolutely nothing wrong or mean in spirit, yet we feel in our own heart that we need to make an amend if only to clear-the-air.

Below is an Amend Card that I have made and one that I use.

THE STORY BEHIND THIS AMEND.

Here is what happened. Recently, following the conclusion of a very small zoom online meeting that I attend (small : 5 to 7 men) I asked the other members if we could take a group conscience to discuss our meeting.

So far so good. We have not had a group conscience meeting in forever (years) and, with zoom changing things, I thought it would be a good idea to bat-around some ideas.

For one thing, I suggested that, as part of our meeting format, we allow the meeting leader to, at his discretion, read Big Book passages other than How It Works. As one example, I suggested that reading the first part of Chaper 3, More About Alcoholism, be an option.

At this suggestion, a fellow member exploded. In his passionate rant, he said that he personally and absolutely hated changes in life. In short, he was very upset and went on to verbally attack me personally.

After the meeting, in private, I spoke with each one of the other 5 members about what had happened. Each one said that in my calling a group conscience meeting and leading the discussion I had done nothing wrong and that there was no way that I had to make an amend. Several were furious themselves at his conduct.

And? 

I made an amend, not for him, but for me because I wanted to get the matter out of my head and felt that an amend was the best way to do so.

Below is my amend to him :

I then mailed the amend to him.

The following Tuesday he called me and profusely apologized for his conduct stating that it was him that owed me an amend. 

THE REST OF THE STORY

This man is someone that I go back several decades with in the program and one I consider a close personal associate. I was not willing to wait and see what would happen. Instead I took the reins and am very happy to have done so.

The bottom line remains that my action caused him to be very upset and I was truly sorry not for what I had done, but because I upset him.

OCT 30, 20 .. STEP 10 .. SPIRITUALITY .. DOING-THE-DEAL ..

As we come to the end of October (the 10th month of the year) here is another look at Step 10 along with Spirituality and Doing-The-Deal.

How often do many of us hear these words (from Chapter 5, How It Works, in the Big Book) : "If you have decided you want what we have .." 

What have we? 

As it says in the Big Book (pages 15, 28 and 81) "We have a design for living."

There is one small 'catch' here. After we read and hear the words in Chapter 5.. "If you have decided you want what we have" .. the following words are read .. "and are willing to go to any length to get it" .. "then you are ready to take certain steps."

The way to find, and to implement, our design for living is to work* the 12 Steps.

*work is an action !! The path to our design for living is not a free ride. 

I want my own personal design for living to allow me to feel happy, joyous and free. I want to feel good about myself. 

DOING-THE-DEAL (continue to do what worked for you)

You work the first nine steps and then, in steps 10 / 11 / 12, you continue to Do-The-Deal.

Spiritual Awakening / Experience

Appendix II of the Big Book (SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE) tells us that we have undergone a profound alteration (change) in our reaction to life.

In the spiritual world (NOT so in the physical world) if one of us can change, then we all can change. If we alter our reaction to life one time, then we can again do so.

Because I have been able to achieve the following, so too can you if you want what we have.

Doing-The-Deal 

Because I want to continue to experience our design for living I have to continue to do-the-deal.

I recently took a very serious fall. In falling I hurt my right arm (from my right wrist up to my right shoulder) and as a result I am in some (more or less constant) discomfort. My doctor prescribed Physical Therapy (PT) for me. 

So once or twice a week I go to our local hospital for my PT sessions. To enter the hospital I have to be screened for covid-19. So each and every single hospital visit I have to hear and to answer the same boring / routine / monotonous (dull, tedious, and repetitious; lacking in variety and interest) questions and have a temperature scan. 

And I began to 'hassle' the hospital staff. 

"Sir have you an appointment today?"

"No. I just wanted to come to the hospital and 'hang out' all day for something to do. Of course I have an appointment."

"Do you ask these questions in your sleep?"

"I don't know IF I have been around anyone with covid-19 because many carriers are asymptomatic."

And on and on and on .. blah blah blah ..

Step 10 - The other day I did a spot check inventory (pages 87 and 88 in the Big Book) of myself.

I don't like how I am acting to these dedicated hospital employees! I am going to change the way I have been acting! Just one time, the next time I am here, I will be polite and I will act courteously.

And? I did.

As I left the hospital I said to the door staff, "How did I do today?" All of them smiled and gave me a thumbs-up.

And? I am now batting 100%. So far I have been a nice, polite person.

If I can do the deal, so too can you, IF you want to live our design for living.