JUN 25, 2025.. LET IT GO.. GET OVER IT..

It is amazing to me how critical, how extremely important, just one sentence in the AA Big Book has become for me personally. 

You will find this important sentence on page xxviii (28) in the front of the 4th Edition of the AA Big Book in The Doctor's Opinion: 

Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol.

My personal translation of the above sentence is:

Men and women drink TO CHANGE HOW THEY FEEL.

In my opinion, the purpose of our 12 Steps of Recovery is to make us feel better about ourselves. If we feel good about ourselves then we don't need to use a substance to change how we feel.

Don't ask me why, because I am not able to answer this question: Why on earth do some alcoholics drink alcohol to celebrate their team winning the Super Bowl?

For we alcoholics, that first drink will set up a desire for "just one more" and you all know what happens then!

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Thank you so very much Cindy 86403 for sharing with us the below amazing advice about helping us to feel better about ourselves.

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It's amazing how peaceful your life becomes when you realize it's not your responsibility to regulate other people's emotions, manage their insecurities, pacify their inner wars, heal their wounds, do their inner work, and be the version of you in their minds.

At some point, you have to realize that people will only change when they're ready. No amount of love, effort, or convincing can make them see what they're not willing to face.

You can support, inspire, and encourage but their growth is their responsibility. 

Release the need to fix others and focus on your own inner peace.

Once again, Thank You So Very Much Cindy 86403 for being a Guest Contributor.

NOV 28, 24 .. THANKSGIVING DAY.. GRATITUDE..

The word thanks has several synonyms.

One of them is gratitude.

On Thanksgiving Day, it fits to discuss gratitude.

At one time, it has been a few decades ago now, I used to get bored when the topic of a meeting was gratitude.

Then one day the following thought occurred to me.

Our brain can think about many things BUT it can only think about one thing at any given nanosecond.

Doctor William Duncan Silkworth wrote in the Doctors' Opinion the following words.

"Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by  alcohol."

Translation: We drink to change how we feel.

Enter gratitude.

IF we can focus our mind upon things we are grateful for, we don't need to take a drink to change how we are feeling.

Make sense?

It sure does to me!

We hope you enjoyed a very

HAPPY THANKSGIVING..

MAY 29, 23 .. AMENDS

I know, it is not September nor is it October. I know, it is not the 9th month nor the 10h month when we traditionally talk about the 9th and the 10th Steps regarding the Amends process. 

But here we go, in May, discussing Amends.

There are several important things about making Amends.

First..

The Doctor's Opinion, page xxviii of the Big Book, states:

"Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol."

I will translate this: We drink because we want to change how we feel!

The point of the 12 Steps of Recovery is so that we feel better about ourselves and don't want to, nor need to, drink to change how we feel.

Got it? Our mission is to feel good within and about ourselves.

Second..

We make Amends for ourselves. We make Amends to clear up our wreckage of the past (9th Step) or our wreckage of the present (10th Step).

We make Amends so we, not the recipient, feels better. Yes we want, and hope, our recipient also feels better but we're in this for ourselves. So we feel good. At ease. At peace with others and with the world.

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What IF we have not harmed someone else? What if our issue about another person is 100% within our own brain. What if the recipient of our angst will never, ever, know what we are, or were, thinking of them? 

Today's Big Question : Do we owe that person an Amend for thinking bad thoughts about them?

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No we don't and Yes we very well may want to make an Amend.

No we don't! If you have, in no way insulted, harmed, or done wrong to another person why on earth would you say: "I want to make an Amend to you because I had bad thoughts about you!"

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Yes we do! But not in the traditional sense of the word. We're not going to make Amends to our friend per se.

One of my very best, and one of my closest friends, "Wronged me", or "So I thought!"

So I did a little ranting, and I did a little raving, both in my head as well as to my wife. 

And then I suddenly discovered that my friend had not done what I was (in my mind) accusing them of. They were 100% innocent and I was 100% guilty.

What is our mission here? Our mission is to feel good within and about ourselves.

So verbally, and with a few written notes, I explained to my wife how I had (in my own mind) wronged my friend. 

What did I really do? I made an Amend to the Universe!

And. 

Mission Accomplished : I really, and I truly, felt much, MUCH, better about myself.

Hang in there friends. We have progress not perfection!