Yes! You betcha! I full well know and realize that it is not August (month 8), September (month 9) nor is it October (month 10), the three months we usually think of when the topic is amends.
When I received the below thought in a recent text message from a friend in the program, I absolutely had to post it here.
Whew huh?
It took my breath away!
In my opinion, here is the "Bottom Line".
We do not make amends for the other person. We make amends for ourselves. We clean our side of the street with an amend.
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I can't tell you how many times the above words have been true for me. I could write a short book about the times I made an amend to someone I did nothing to nor harmed in any way BUT I did upset and disturb them without having any idea whatsoever that I did when "they unloaded" on me.
How about some "details".
Back in (this is a "SWAG" * as to the year) March of 2000, the Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race was underway in Alaska.
*SWAG - Some Wild Ass Guess.
A friend from the State of Georgia and his wife had come up to Fairbanks and was driving out (it is a 160 mile drive) to Manley Hot Springs to see the race. It is very rare that the Iditarod passes through Manley Hot Springs.
En route out from Fairbanks, he and his wife encountered some problems with their automobile. Someone from Manley passed them and stopped to assist them. Unable to do so, they continued out to Manley, found me and told me of the situation and exactly where they were located on the road.
I immediately contacted Ernie, who long ago passed away, a close neighbor in Manley and also a "best friend" and told him of the situation. He prepared to go out and find them and, if necessary, tow them into Manley.
The stage is set.
Absolutely, totally, 100% unknown to me, my friends from Georgia were able to get to Manley. They did not let me know. They did not check in with me.
I had absolutely no knowledge they had gotten to Manley!!
Then Ernie (to this day I don't know how he found out) came to my cabin "in a rage" and I mean "in a rage" he "tore into me".
I was "dumbfounded" because I had no idea my friends had gotten to Manley.
Did I owe Ernie an amend?
What exactly did I do wrong?
If I hadn't gotten Ernie involved, nothing would have come of this.
BUT I did get him involved. So I made both a verbal and a handwritten amend to him.
No! Ernie was, in no way sorry for his verbal explosion, and he never apologized to me.