It's no secret to anyone following along here, that in A.A. we have the 12 Steps of Recovery.
We also have 12 months in a year.
Accordingly, it is quite common for many A.A. meetings to, at some point during each month, discuss the Step of The Month.
Step 8 is the Step of The Month during August (the 8th month of the year).
Step 8, out of all the other 11 steps, is my own personal least favorite step to discuss.
I had a friend in Hong Kong who was celebrating twenty three (23) years of sobriety one August. To put it mildly, twenty three years of sobriety is very impressive! During the Step 8 meeting, all he could do was to lament, over and over and over again, that he did not think he did a good enough job on his 8th step list!
After the meeting I told him there were people who would do almost anything to have twenty three years of sobriety. Why not be grateful for this amazing feat and to stop beating himself up with the steps? He never again repeated his 8th step lament!
Step 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
I am not alone with my opinion that Step 8 is my own personal least favorite step to discuss.
How can I write the words I am not alone about Step 8 discussions? Because many Step 8 meetings end up being Step 9 meetings where amends become the real topic not the Step 8 list.
Now let's look at the meetings where some people actually keep their focus on Step 8 and do NOT move to Step 9.
Step 8 is an 'action step'. We take-the-action to pick up a pen / pencil along with some paper and make a written list of all the persons we had harmed.
Now we come to the one critical and very important word in Step 8 .. willing !
And in a solid Step 8 meeting the word willing becomes the focus of discussion.
In the first one hundred sixty four (164) pages of our book, Alcoholic Anonymous, the word willing is mentioned in 36 places.
Here are just a few references to willing outside of Step 8.
Willing to believe in a Power greater than myself (p 47)
Willing to go to any length (p 58)
Willing to grow along spiritual lines (p 60)
We ask God to help us be willing (p 76)
God willing it should not be repeated (p 81)
Willing to turn the past to good account (p 124)
O.K. we agree on the importance of being willing.
Here are two questions that pose a real dilemma to those of us who really get into the depth of the word, willing.
Where does being, or becoming, willing originate within a human being?
I am not sure there is an answer except God or our Higher Power makes a person willing. Absolutely no human being can help or make another human being become willing.
Here is the real puzzler!
Where does a person's willing attitude disappear to when one stops attending meetings, working the program and / or experiences relapse?
I myself don't believe that God, or one's Higher Power, removes a willing attitude from any one! So where does it go?
Hopefully this may help you with Step 8 discussions.
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