AUG 30, 25.. EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY..

Lately Patti and I have been reading the above Grapevine Book along with some older (1990s up to 2010) Grapevine Magazines reading many articles written by longtime members stating that there is far more to AA than just not drinking.

It all boils down to EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY.

So I decided to "Toss My Hat Into The Ring"

What is it? 

For me it is simple. Emotional Sobriety is being relatively (no we will never be perfect) happy, joyous and free.

Then I have to want this! And be willing to go to any length to achieve it.

For me it takes:

GRATITUDE.. If I can just focus on what I have to be grateful for, then I am NOT focusing on my problems and challenges. For me Gratitude is an action not merely a mind trip.

ACCEPTANCE.. Does not mean Approval. What is, IS. Period.

If I cannot accept what I am absolutely, totally unable to change, I will be out trying to change things I will never be able to change. This is a dead end road of frustration that takes me away from being relatively happy, joyous and free.

Actually using the 12 Steps of Recovery. Walk The Walk! Don't Just Talk The Talk. 

Pause When Agitated. Practice Love and Tolerance of Others. Clean my side of the street. When wrong make amends. etc.

PRAYER and MEDITATION, working together, go a long way helping me find Gratitude and Acceptance.

Good luck on your journey.

MAR 29, 23 .. RESENTMENT CERTAINLY IS THE NUMBER ONE OFFENDER

On St. Patrick's Day, a friend sent me the below cartoon.

In my family, all of the mental health and other issues are on the Irish side of my family. My Mother was a Casey.

- - - - - - - -

Yesterday in a meeting, I was asked to name a topic from the first 164 pages of the A.A. Big Book, share on it briefly (5 to 10 minutes), and open the floor for discussion. 

I named the topic as Resentment.

I can't talk about resentment without beginning on page 62 of the Big Book.

Selfishness -- self-centeredness ! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.

So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so.

From page 64 in the Big Book.

Resentment is the "number one" offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else.

From page 66 in the Big Book.

It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness.

If we were to live, we had to be free of anger.

I love these words :  Add the letter D to the word anger and you have Danger.

What to do?

The answer begins with one key line in Chapter 5 How It Works on page 58 of the Big Book. 

If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it - then you are ready to take certain steps.

The issue is this : What we have changes. 

In the first days of one's membership in A.A., what we have is not drinking alcohol one day at a time. Then we "sober up" and stop drinking. We get a sponsor and we work the 12 step program. 

Then? We discover "What we really have in A.A. is a Design for Living". 

BUT ? Are you truly willing to go to any length to get our Design for Living.

Do you really and truly want to be free of resentment and anger, do you really and truly want to be happy, joyous and free?

If you want these things, then on pages 551 and 552 of the Big Book, in the chapter Freedom From Bondage, you have our answer to resentment against another person or thing. 

It states at the top of page 552  : If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing you resent, you will be free. Do it every day for two weeks.

BUT? You have got to really want this Design for Living.

It worked for the author of the story and I can personally attest that it has worked for me. 

Back in December of 1989, I was "attacked and mugged" at night in the backyard of a friend in Fairbanks, Alaska, that I was staying with. The man who attacked me was a friend of my host. I ended up in the Emergency Room of the Fairbanks Hospital with my injuries.

I then began the above process. I prayed, not for 14 days, but for 16 days before my resentment against my attacker finally lifted. 

In the end, against the advice of the local Police and Public Defender, I did NOT press charges against this "well known" criminal who I "had dead to rights" had I proceeded with a criminal case against him.

It works. IF you want it and are willing to go to any length to be happy, joyous and free.

DEC 29, 19 .. TO A FRIEND .. NEXT TIME TRY GOD

The below suggestion came from the AA Grapevine Magazine, November 2019, A Wind of Spirit, pages 26 to 30.

With regard to your relapses over the years, both of us know this for certain : YOU, and only YOU, have to want this thing we call sobriety.

Given that you do indeed want sobriety, this story is about a member who was suffering relapses.

From the Grapevine story:

Very shortly, on a morning in late July as I got out of bed with the sweats, the shakes, the terror and the obsession, I realized that if I took another drink, I was going to die -- not in a week or a day or two, not on the way to the hospital, but right then. And I thought, in an instant, it seemed, of the one great thing that everybody at the meetings had talked about: God. All the talk about God this, God that, God the other thing, and all the things God had done for those people seemed to flash through my mind, and I cried out,

"God please relieve me of the terrible obsession to drink."

And it was gone in an instant, in the twinkling of an eye. I did not have to drink anymore. I felt clean inside and out for the first time in my life, as if a wind of spirit had blown through me; and I knew that all was well, right now and forever, both here and hereafter, and it didn't really matter whether I lived or died. I just didn't have to drink again -- by the grace of God.

If just one time you can stop short of picking up that first drink, then you can do it again.

Rooting for you!

NOV 26, 18 .. STEP ELEVEN

November, the 11th month of the year and time to share my thoughts on the 11th Step.

Step 11 : Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

In the A.A. Conference approved book, 'Pass It On', it is stated that for the early members of A.A., the one most important thing in their day was their morning quiet time. During their morning quiet time, they read the Bible, prayed and meditated so that they would begin their day in a calm and relaxed manner.

With the importance to the early members of their morning quiet time, in some respects it is surprising that the Big Book did not make Step 2 as the prayer and meditation step instead of doing so later in Step 11. 

Consider this : Why do some members so rigidly stress to new members that they MUST work the steps in the numerical order that they are written?

Is there anything basically wrong to suggest to new members that, fundamentally there is nothing wrong should they choose to begin praying and meditating immediately.

I am not the only one with this opinion. In fact I myself came to this point-of-view after hearing others stress to new members that they certainly can, in addition to doing the first nine steps in the numerical order they are written, begin to pray and to meditate immediately.

Step 11 states in part : conscious contact with God.

I myself prefer to Pray Aloud and not in silence. I find I can keep my focus on my praying when I am actually talking aloud to God.

Prayer : Talking to God.

PUSH : Pray Until Something Happens.

Meditation : Listening to God.

MUSH : Meditate Until Something Happens.

I myself have memorized four prayers : The Lord's Prayer; The Third Step Prayer (page 63 of the Big Book); The Seventh Step Prayer (page 76 of the Big Book); and the Eleventh Step Prayer ("Thy Will Be Done" on page 88 of the Big Book).

I like to begin my prayer / meditation sessions by quietly, and slowly, saying the above four prayers.

Then I ask that God reveal to me (taken directly from the 11th Step) the knowledge of what His will for me is. That I be shown through the day what my next step is to be.

I also like to Give Thanks for my many blessings. Make Gratitude a part of my prayer life.

You can practice meditation all day long. While walking. While riding a bus / streetcar. While driving. While sitting in a meeting (meditation can be your concentrating on what is being said in the meeting, of being present and focused).

On page 88 of the Big Book it states :

It works - It really does.

Page 88 also gives the A.A. Big Book 11th Step Prayer : Thy will be done."

It works, it really does!

JUN 25, 15 .. ACRONYMS FOR PRAYER AND MEDITATION ..

Just when I think that I-have-heard-it-all .. look what showed up in my life and in my program. 

Two wonderful acronyms for PRAYER and MEDITATION.
PUSH and MUSH ..

PUSH ..

PRAYER ..

PRAY UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENS


MUSH ..

MEDITATION ..

MEDITATE UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENS



These two acronyms take me back to one of our very common expressions ..

"How long do I have to go to meetings?"

"Until you WANT to go to meetings!"

APR 10, 15 .. WISDOM FROM HONG KONG ..

Peter 'O' at the Number 12 Borrett Road meeting here in Hong Kong gave me the following gift of prayer that I want to share with you all ..

God .. Help me to believe the truth about myself .. No matter how beautiful it its ..

IF you are like myself .. as Peter stated the above words my mind raced ahead wanting to finish the prayer with a negative ending such as .. no matter how flawed I am ..

How odd and negative some of the committees inside of our minds can be!