OCT 11, 18 .. STEP TEN

October, the 10th month of the year has arrived. It is now time to discuss my thoughts on the 10th Step.

Step 10 : Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

We have many sayings in A.A. 

One goes states ..

All of the steps are important. Work them in order. They were numbered for a reason.

Of course this is basically true. At the same time, they are not meant to paralyze you with delays and indecision. Get on with them. Steps 1 through 7 can be done in literally a matter of  several hours.

Does this fact that the first seven steps can be done in a matter of a few hours shock you?

Consider the fact that, according to our written history in World Service Conference approved literature, the following facts are indisputable. 

Doctor Bob made his Amends ON the same day that he took his last drink. There was no Big Book, there were no steps. He just went out and promptly made his amends.

Do I personally recommend doing this? No! I certainly do not. But don't spend the rest of your life stuck on Step 9 either.

The most important thing to the early members was their quiet time (read prayer and meditation) in the morning. It's a wonder Step 11 was not put in as Step 2.

Why are we trying to stop people from immediately getting the benefits of Step 11 by saying they must work the steps in order, 1 through 12?

Newcomers with literally hours or WOW, even a few days dry, were helping other newcomers still in the hospital. So much for all of our 'unwritten requirements' for people to sponsor (you must have so many days / weeks / months / even years to sponsor).

For me, Step 10 is extremely important.

Step 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

I will repeat the above. For the rest of our lives we are to continue to take personal inventory and to make amends when we are wrong or have harmed someone else.

What this amazing Step 10 does is this : 

Because you will continue to take personal inventory for the rest of your life, you can get through your Step 4 inventory quickly. I was given one hour to write down the things I was going to take-to-my-grave with me. 

Whatever you will miss (and yes, you will miss a lot of things) on your first pass through your 4th Step, you will find later doing Step 10 work.

The same for Step 9. Making amends is a life-long, ongoing process for us IF we want to follow our Design For Living given us in the 12 Steps. So when you come to Steps 8 and 9, get-on-with-them quickly and continue the process the rest of your life.

My Sponsor of now over 30-years, Jim C, in the San Francisco Bay Area gave to me the following gift.

THE WRITTEN 10th STEP ..

A WRITTEN TENTH (10^th) STEP .. as taught me by Jim ‘C’ in San Francisco ..

In the last full paragraph at the bottom of page 84 of the ‘Big Book’ .. we are  told .. “This is not an overnight matter.  It should continue for our lifetime.  Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear.  When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them.  We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone.”

Below is a WRITTEN TENTH (10th) STEP . This is to be done in hand using pen / pencil and paper NOT on a computer!

Write down the Third Step Prayer (page 63 of the ‘A.A. Big Book’).  “God, I offer myself to thee – to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!”

Now write:  ‘I have resentments.’

List what you are feeling: ‘I resent ________’.  Continue listing resentments until you cease to actively feel them.  Do NOT stop to ponder them ! 

Now write: ‘I have fears.’

List your fears: ‘I fear (I am afraid of) _________’ . Continue listing your fears until you cease to actively feel them.  Do NOT sit and ponder them!

Now you are going to do a second cycle. This second look at your resentments and fears is why you do NOT sit and ponder what you are going to write in the first cycle above. 

Again write: ‘I resent ________’. Continue listing resentments until you cease to actively feel them. IF you have no resentments on this second cycle just write: “I have no more resentments.”

Again write: ‘I fear (I am afraid of) _________’ . Continue listing fears until you cease to actively feel them. IF you have no fears this second time through just write .. “I have no more fears.”

Write: “God, I am now willing to have you remove these resentments and these fears.”

Write: “God, please remove these resentments and these fears.”

Write the Seventh Step Prayer (page 76 of the ‘A.A. Big Book’). “My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.”

Write the Eleventh Step Prayer  (page 88 of ‘The A.A. Big Book: “Thy will be done.”

Write: “Thank you God” .. “I love you God” ..

 /s/ sign you name and date your Tenth Step ..

THEN READ YOUR  ENTIRE TENTH  STEP TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.

You have just worked eight of the twelve steps !

Step 3 .. you wrote the Third Step Prayer.

Step 4 .. you wrote a short inventory on resentments and fears.

Step 6 .. you became ready to have God to remove your defects of character.

Step 7 .. you humbly asked God to please remove them AND you wrote the Seventh Step Prayer !

Step 11 .. you wrote the Eleventh Step Prayer.

Step 5 .. you shared it with another human being.

Step 10 .. is the above process.

Step 12 .. you have worked with another.

IF NECESSARY .. do an 8^th and a 9^th step .. in concert with the 10^th step above.

Often when I do the above written Tenth Step I also will write about anger I am feeling. I also will write about Gratitude that I am feeling.

I often suggest to newcomers that they do the above process for ten consecutive days. 

I have watched lives change before my very eyes.

There you have it. My thoughts on Step 10.

SEP 23, 18 .. STEP NINE

September (the 9th month) has arrived and it is time for a few words about Step 9.

Step 9 : Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

The 9th step discussion in the Big Book begins on page 76.

SPIRITUAL AWAKENING / EXPERIENCE

Below is an example of a Spiritual Experience.

As a direct result of working the 9th step, I had the following spiritual experience.

IF (and this is debatable) I have anything original to contribute to Step 9 it is this :

IF you have gone through the Amends process of Step 9, there is a good chance that some of your amends have been uncomfortable. 

Speaking for myself, I feel that as human beings, most of us do not like to do things that are uncomfortable. 

And what on this good earth does this have to do with Step 9?

To quote Doctor Bob, "If you love everyone in A.A. you have not been going to enough meetings!"

And the day came when I was facing one of the unlovable-ones and I wanted to 'let-him-have-it' with both barrels. I wanted to 'sock-it-to-him'.

Then the thought came to me :

"If I say, and If I do, what I want to say and to do, then (at least if I am honest with myself and if I want to work a complete program) I will have to make an Amend to him. This (make an Amend) I do not want to do to this sorry-s.o.b. So I will just shut my mouth, say nothing, and walk away a free-man."

And I did just that.

The above actual experience is an example of a Spiritual Experience.

Instead of telling this man off, I kept my mouth shut so I would not have to make an amend to him. This is a change in my behavior and Appendix II of The Big Book talks about this change in ourselves being a spiritual experience.

What a learning experience actually living these steps is for us.

Doctor Bob's last words to Bill Wilson were : "Remember Bill, let's not louse this thing up. Let's keep it simple."

I wonder if everyone knows that, on the very day of his last drink, Doctor Bob made the rounds of Akron, Ohio, and made his Amends to those people he felt he needed to come-clean with.

In June of 1935 there was no Big Book. There were no steps. There were only two Alcoholics working with each other trying to stay sober.

I personally don't recommend that anyone do this (go out on their first day sober and make Amends) but the process certainly can proceed a tad quicker than many people make it.

I have one friend that basically did just this. To his regret, some 15-years later, he and his wife still have serious and severe issues with what he said to her about his conduct while an active alcoholic.

Step 9 : Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

In his hasty process, my friend certainly injured his wife.

Bottom Line : Have a Sponsor. Work closely with your Sponsor.

Good luck. Enjoy the promises that come with the 9th Step (pages 83 and 84 in the Big Book).

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are halfway through. It means halfway through the 9th step.