Today's Daily Reflection reading for May 24 ..
"HAPPY, JOYOUS AND FREE"
"We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free. We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us. But it is clear that we made our own misery. God didn't do it. Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence."
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS p 133
To be honest, not all of the readings in the Daily Reflections book strike a bell with me. But this one certainly did. Odd that I have been reading this book for some decades and today's reading struck home.
In the Doctor's Opinion, Dr. Silkworth writes : "Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol."
Translation : We drink to change the way we feel.
Why do I seldom hear it said that the purpose of A.A.'s twelve steps is to make us feel good about ourselves. The theory being if we feel good about ourself we won't need to drink to change the way we feel. Don't ask me to explain why some of us drink to celebrate our team winning the Super Bowl!
Chapter 5 says .. "If you have decided you want what we have.." and here is a problem. As newcomers what we want is to stop drinking. Then, once we have successfully stopped drinking, some of us feel life would be better if we were still drinking. If we are lucky we then find out what we really have here in A.A. is a design for living, that being what the Big Book and the 12 steps and traditions offer us.
So what is wrong with this picture? I think that all of us have witnessed fellow members who are living in, wallowing in, self pity and self imposed misery of their own making! Seemingly enjoying living a life full of (in some cases) years-long resentments.
Not I said the Little Red Hen! I truly want to be happy, joyous and free. The greatest gift A.A. has given me is the ablility to look, with God's guidance, within myself and see what it is that I myself am contributing to a situation I am not happy with.
A resentment? Go to page 552 and pray for the person or thing that you resent.
Angry? Anger is a letter from Danger and we are ill equipped to deal with (even justifiable) anger.
Now it gets tougher. Lonely or depressed? Go find another alcoholic to help. Go help another human being. If you have a medical, or a mental health issue, get professional assistance (see page 133 of the Big Book) because we can't treat all human issues within the rooms of A.A.
Don't set yourself up to fail. Watch your expectations. Expectations are resentments waiting to happen! Your sports team can't possibly win every game or be a champion every year.
BUT (and we come back to Chapter 5) : "If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it..
You have got to want to be happy, joyous and free and be willing to do the work necessary to achieve it.
Is it easy? No it may not be easy. Especially with health issues. Will it be worth it? I hope for your sake the answer is yes. Good luck as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.