MAY 29, 18 .. STEP FIVE

Step 5  : Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Step 5 certainly seems very straight forward.

I again repeat the words of Step 5, with emphasis placed upon three words .. 

Step 5 - Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Step 5 does not say one's sponsor.

Step 5 does not say (plural) human beings. You do your Step 5 with one other person. IF you so choose, you certainly can do it with several people, BUT the emphasis here is on another human being

You most certainly can share it with a sponsor but Step 5 does not mandate that you do so.

You may think, "Who else can I share my 4th Step with?"

That list is endless! 

IF you choose not to share your 4th Step with your sponsor, you may do so with a religious person such as a minister / rabbi / priest, a professional therapist, a taxi driver, you may go to another city and find a temporary sponsor in a meeting to share your 4th Step with. Again that list of other human beings is endless.

IF you do choose to share it with someone totally outside of AA, I suggest that, before sharing your 4th Step with them, you at the very least explain to them what you are doing and why you are doing it. You may even want to read to them applicable parts of the Big Book and the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions that mention / discuss the 4th and 5th Steps.

Now I come to something that I feel is very important.

I want to bring up something that I seldom ever hear mentioned in Step 5 discussions.

Some professional therapists / religious clergy / para-legals / etc et al, may have taken a formal oath as part of their employment, that they will report to legal authorities any knowledge they hear about certain crimes.

Some crimes have no statue of limitations. 

So before you reveal certain (call them very dark) aspects of your 4th Step, be aware you may be opening yourself up to serious legal implications. Members of the fellowship have been imprisoned because of revealing serious crimes to another during their 5th Step.

Good Luck as you take this very important step. 

MAY 10, 18 .. POWERLESSNESS .. A TEXT FROM A FRIEND ..

A friend just sent me the below text message :

"I talked all afternoon to a young man who is a recovering drug addict. He thinks because his primary addiction is Meth he can go ahead and drink alcohol with impunity. He has just completed 9 months in a half way house. How can I convince him otherwise or should I even try? He is age 22-years. I am deeply concerned."

Thanks Lonnie for your text. 

The first thing that 'jumps-into-my-mind' are our 'real' steps 1 and 2 on page 58 of the AA Big Book.

The 'real' Step 1 : IF you want what we have..

The 'real' Step 2 : AND are willing to go to any length to get it..

Then you are ready to take certain steps.

What do we have Lonnie? What is it we ask of a newcomer when we say IF you want what we have?

In AA we have a design-for-living. 

Our way-of-living, our design-for-daily-living does NOT include drinking alcohol with impunity does it?

So right-off-the-bat this young man does not seem to want what we have does he?

Another thought, another philosophy I live with:

No human being can be all things, to all people, in all places, at all times.

With an age difference of 45-years between the two of you, I wonder IF you can get past the 'age-hurdle' Lonnie. It seems to me that a 22-year old would be more apt to listen to a peer, specifically one who is in recovery from a Meth addiction.

Now let's think about our primary purpose. Tradition 1 (We can't be all things to all people), Tradition 3 (The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking) and Traditon 5 (Each group has but one primary purpose) come to mind.

Now to the real magic that created AA. One alcoholic (Bill W) working with another alcoholic (Dr. Bob).

We have a life at risk here. A 22-year old Meth Addict.  

Lonnie are you a Meth addict? Do you have experience with the use of Meth? Can you tell him it is OK to drink with impunity and remain Meth-free based upon your own actual experience?

As I basically said above, what this young man needs is this : IF he wants recovery and IF he is willing to pursue it, he needs to find another Meth addict, more his age, who is in recovery and who wants and is willing to DO anything to be free of Meth.

Only another recovering Meth addict can fully answer his questions.

To feel good, do good.

You don't want to just-drop-him. Be there for him without taking-him-to-raise. Point him in the right direction (find another Meth addict to work with) assuring him you want the best for him. But do not give up yourself and your beliefs Lonnie. The young man is responsible for finding his own road to recovery.

Smiles and Thanks For The Gift of You Lonnie.