MANY OF YOU WILL NOT HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO VISIT THE MANY IMPORTANT HISTORICAL SITES OF THE FELLOWSHIP OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS.

I PLAN TO SHARE WITH YOU PHOTOS I HAVE TAKEN OF THEM AS WELL AS PHOTOS I HAVE TAKEN OF SPECIAL MEETING LOCATIONS THAT I HAVE VISITED.





Tuesday 22 March 2022

MAR 22, 22 .. MARCH .. THE 3rd MONTH .. THE 3rd STEP .. THE 3rd TRADITION .. CHAPTER 3 OF THE BIG BOOK



Thank YOU Danny 48073 for the above contribution !

As is, more or less, traditional across the fellowship, during the month of March (the 3rd month of the calendar year) many step, as well as general discussion, meetings discuss the 3rd Step and the 3rd Tradition. Two of my favorite steps and traditions.

With reference to one of the subtitles to this post .. keep it simple .. I will quote our co-founder Doctor Bob's last 12 words to Bill Wilson as they said their final goodbyes in Akron, Ohio, shortly before Doctor Bob passed away on November 16, 1950 .. "Remember Bill, let's not louse this thing up, let's keep it simple."

STEP 3

Many times I have mentioned that my first sponsor had a sponsor, Clarence Henry Snyder of Cleveland, Ohio, who got sober in Doctor Bob's home in February of 1938 before the AA Big Book was published. Then when the AA Big Book was published in April of 1939, it was not widely read nor used until after Jack Alexander's article about AA in the Saturday Evening Post on March 1, 1941 appeared.

https://www.aa.org/jack-alexander-article-about-aa

And? My grand sponsor Clarence took my original sponsor through the 12 steps far quicker than is done today. In the vein of Doctor Bob's words: "Remember Bill, let's not louse this thing up, let's keep it simple," Clarence was not one to belabor the steps.

Clarence kept it simple, direct and to the point.

When we got to STEP 3 my sponsor asked me to tell him what the 3rd Step said.

I replied, "We turn our will and our life over to the care of God as we understand God."

My sponsor quietly asked me how this is done. I had no answer. Then he asked me to get my Big Book and read Step 3 on page 59 to him.

I began, "Made a decision.." He stopped me cold saying we don't turn our will and our life over to the care of God as we understand God ! We make a decision to do so.

Then we turned to page 63 of the AA Big Book and I read the 3rd Step Prayer : 

God, I offer myself to Thee -- to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life. May I do Thy will always!"

And? That Was That. We had completed Step 3 and we immediately began Step 4.

Simple Huh ?

I once had a friend that for over three years went to a Sunday afternoon 3rd Step meeting and forever said she couldn't do, nor understand, the 3rd Step. Even after I told her what I had been taught.

TRADITON 3

This is good, but the whole story is far too long to go into here so this is a short and condensed version.

My first ever AA Meeting was Tuesday, February the 25th, 1986, Tuesday Downtown at Grace Cathedral on Knob Hill in San Francisco.

Being new, at meetings after that first meeting, I did what new members often do. Get to a meeting exactly on time (never ever early), sit in the back, and leave immediately after the meeting (what new member wants to hang around visiting?).

The meetings in San Francisco were large meetings (40 to 60 people or even larger) so being anonymous (invisible) was very easy.

I was on a trip from San Francisco back to Michigan in the late Spring of 1986 and stopped in Elko, Nevada, to spend the night. I had a Western States Meeting Directory and found an 8pm meeting upstairs at the Silver Slipper Casino (long ago demolished).

I waited until 8pm and into the meeting room I walked.

As I entered the room I thought .. "Ah-h-h what's this? There are only 5 people here." Keep in mind I was used to much larger meetings in San Francisco.

But I took a seat at the table as the meeting was just beginning. Sitting kitty corner on my immediate left and leading the meeting, was a very hard, stern, mean-in-appearance, thin as a rail, much older lady. 

I was about to meet Ruby M who was going to give to me one of the most valuable and important gifts of all of my decades in AA.

Immediately after Ruby M finished a brief moment of silence, followed by the Serenity Prayer and the AA Preamble, she pushed a Big Book at me and said : "Tell us your name, read How It Works on pages 58 to 60, and tell us your story!"

Whoa! I had not been speaking even one single word in the large San Francisco meetings let alone telling my story. I first thought to just say no then decided that I'd never see any of them again so what the heck.

I was soon to learn that, of all things, this tiny meeting of the 6 of us (the original 5 plus me) was a 90 minute meeting and the 5 of them had been hearing each other for years or even decades, and were willing to go to any length to keep me talking for as long as they could do so!

Well ? I DO have a story. Vomiting blood and blacking out and demolishing an apartment where I was living with three other fraternity brothers in college the first time I drank alcohol. And 9 months later I was living on the street down in Florida etc. And on and on and on I went, pausing after describing each of my drinking catastrophes by saying, "But I would then quit drinking and so I don't think that I am really an alcoholic!"

And I finally finished after probably 45 minutes (keep in mind they kept egging me on to continue because they were sick and tired of hearing each other).

Ruby M then gave to me perhaps the greatest gift that I have ever received in the rooms of AA.

She said to me : Well I'll be (I think she probably actually said God Damned) darned! You are never ever going to be able to accept, and to acknowledge, that you are an alcoholic! I have one question for you : Do you have a desire to not drink today. Give me a yes or a no!" 

I said, "Yes, I really and I truly want to not drink today."

Ruby M then gave me the gift : "Welcome to AA. Tradition 3 states that .. The only requirement for AA membership is the desire to stop drinking."

BIG BOOK CHAPTER 3

Do you get it? Read, study, the first two pages (30 and 31) of Chapter 3 of the Big Book. The Question is not : Are you an alcoholic? Many, most of us will think not. So The Question is : Do you have a desire to stop drinking? It's yes or no.

And for the next 45 minutes, one by one, each of these gnarly wizened old timers shared their stories and offered their suggestions to me.

Oh My! What a phenomenal gift to me that long ago meeting at the Silver Slipper Casino in Elko, Nevada, was for me.

A short post script : For some many years after this meeting, when going East or West on Interstate 80, I always stopped in Elko to sit in meetings at their Alano Club now at 680 River Street. BUT I never ever again saw Ruby M. I always asked about her but her health was failing. I had the idea, and she looked like, she was a 5 pack a day cigarette smoker. One time, in the Detroit, Michigan, area I gave an open talk and told the above story. After the meeting a local member came rushing up to me and said he had lived in Elko at one time and knew Ruby M. He went on to say that with her hard core, no nonsense, attitude she sent more alcoholics out to die in the street than she ever saved!

Ruby M, May God and The Good Lord Bless and Be With You Where ever you are resting.


2 comments:

  1. What a great post! Thank you for sharing this. I think I had heard the Elko story before but love the detail. I do remember all those paper directories and how invaluable they were when traveling. Now, we can easily access thousands of meeting directories online anywhere we go. Grateful to be sober another day!

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    1. Thank you Kathleen so very VERY much for your comment and your support over the three decades we've known one another. Smiles.

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