JUN 26, 20 .. ANGER, RESENTMENT, 10th STEP .. WALK THE WALK .. DO THE DEAL

On page 90, under Step Ten, in the book The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditons, we are advised that even "justified" anger should be left to those better qualified to handle it.

In the Big Book on page 66 we are told : "If we were to live, we had to be free of anger."

Never forget that anger is one letter away from Danger. When I feel anger cropping up I immediately think DANGER! And try to immediately evaluate the situation.

Each and every time we read How It Works (Chapter 5) we are asked, "If you want what we have..".

What have we got here? A Design For Living. The A.A. Program offers us a way of life that will allow us to be happy, joyous and free.

On page 64 of the Big Book we are told that : Resentment is the "number one" offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else.

Step 10 : "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

Therefore if we want to be happy, joyous and free then we can not harbor anger and resentment.

The bottom line here is this : We've got to Do The Deal, Walk The Walk and not Talk The Talk.

Day One.

While staying in a motel during a recent trip, I had occasion to go to the front office of the motel. As I walked out of my room and headed up the sidewalk towards the motel office (I did not see the lady in the doorway of the room next to mine) as I passed the next room this lady blew a large puff of cigarette smoke into my face.

Instant Anger. As this enormous puff of cigarette smoke hit my face, to clear the air, I instantly and visciously waved my arms and shook an ice bucket that I was carrying. 

She said : "I have a right to smoke."

I did the right thing. I kept walking. 

I did NOT engage her. I returned to my room another way circumventing passing her.

However my anger was then joined by feelings of resentment toward this  'crone' -  an old woman, disagreeable, malicious, or sinister in manner.

On-the-spot she took up (rent-free) space in my mind.

I did a Step 10 inventory. 

I concluded that I didn't think she deliberately blew smoke into my face. I also thought about having to be living beside this 'crone' for who-knows-how-long with my mind filled with anger and resentment.

Day Two.

The next morning, after seeing that she was again smoking in her doorway, I headed for the front office of the motel. As I passed my local 'crone' I said to her : "Ma'am, I am sorry if I was rude to you yesterday morning."

And I kept on walking. I did NOT engage with her. Again I returned to my room a back way circumventing further contact with her.

Day Three.

As I had done the previous day, after seeing her smoking in her doorway, I again walked past her saying : "Ma'am, I can see that you are handicapped. IF my wife and I can be of assistance to you, please knock on our door."

Again I kept walking and did not engage with her.

Day Four.

As we were getting into our truck, 'she' was in her doorway (smoking) and I said, "My name is and my wife's name is. Again IF we may be of assistance to you, please knock on our door."

She replied : "My name is Linda."

And?

That was that. Linda became our friend. She is handicapped and elderly and is basically living in her car staying in the motel when she has the money to do so.

And?

I had a choice. 

Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?

Do I really and truly want to be happy, joyous and free or not?

In my heart I feel that I made the 'right-call' on this.