DEC 24, 18 .. STEP TWELVE

Here we are, it's December, the 12th month of the year, and time to share some of my experience with Step 12.

Step 12 : Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry our message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Do any of you want Step 12 expressed in only five (5) words?

TO FEEL GOOD, DO GOOD

When we help others, it makes us feel good. When we feel good about ourselves, we are not inclined to pick up a drink of alcohol to change how we feel.

TO FEEL GOOD, DO GOOD

This includes doing good things for all other human beings. It is not limited to only helping other alcoholics. Let it also include doing good things for animals and even inanimate objects as well.

To repeat : When we help others, it makes us feel good. When we feel good about ourselves, we are not inclined to pick up a drink of alcohol to change how we feel.

THE PROMISES

Most of us are aware of 'The Promises' of the 9th step which are on pages 83 and 84 in The Big Book in Chapter 6, - Into Action.

There are about 140 promises in the first 164 pages of the Big Book.

Step 12 begins with a promise : Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps.

This is a promise. We are promised a Spiritual Awakening if we work the previous 11 steps.

SPIRITUAL AWAKENING / EXPERIENCE

The 12th Step promises us a spiritual awakening. Appendix II, pages 567 and 568, in the back of the Big Book is well worth studying. 

In my thoughts on Step 9, I talked about how some amends are uncomfortable and of the spiritual experience I had the day I stopped short of telling-off another member of A.A. so I would not have to then make an amend to him. This change in behavior is, in and of itself, a spiritual awakening or experience.

WORKING WITH OTHERS

In The Big Book, Chapter 7 - Working With Others, on page 89 says : PRACTICAL EXPERIENCE shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics.

In my opinion, working with others ranks number 2 on my list of most important actions we can take to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. 

What is number 1? In order to recover from active alcoholism you must want to do so. A.A. is not for those who need it. A.A. is for those who want it!

What more have I to offer on the 12 Step? For now this is my best effort.

NOV 26, 18 .. STEP ELEVEN

November, the 11th month of the year and time to share my thoughts on the 11th Step.

Step 11 : Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

In the A.A. Conference approved book, 'Pass It On', it is stated that for the early members of A.A., the one most important thing in their day was their morning quiet time. During their morning quiet time, they read the Bible, prayed and meditated so that they would begin their day in a calm and relaxed manner.

With the importance to the early members of their morning quiet time, in some respects it is surprising that the Big Book did not make Step 2 as the prayer and meditation step instead of doing so later in Step 11. 

Consider this : Why do some members so rigidly stress to new members that they MUST work the steps in the numerical order that they are written?

Is there anything basically wrong to suggest to new members that, fundamentally there is nothing wrong should they choose to begin praying and meditating immediately.

I am not the only one with this opinion. In fact I myself came to this point-of-view after hearing others stress to new members that they certainly can, in addition to doing the first nine steps in the numerical order they are written, begin to pray and to meditate immediately.

Step 11 states in part : conscious contact with God.

I myself prefer to Pray Aloud and not in silence. I find I can keep my focus on my praying when I am actually talking aloud to God.

Prayer : Talking to God.

PUSH : Pray Until Something Happens.

Meditation : Listening to God.

MUSH : Meditate Until Something Happens.

I myself have memorized four prayers : The Lord's Prayer; The Third Step Prayer (page 63 of the Big Book); The Seventh Step Prayer (page 76 of the Big Book); and the Eleventh Step Prayer ("Thy Will Be Done" on page 88 of the Big Book).

I like to begin my prayer / meditation sessions by quietly, and slowly, saying the above four prayers.

Then I ask that God reveal to me (taken directly from the 11th Step) the knowledge of what His will for me is. That I be shown through the day what my next step is to be.

I also like to Give Thanks for my many blessings. Make Gratitude a part of my prayer life.

You can practice meditation all day long. While walking. While riding a bus / streetcar. While driving. While sitting in a meeting (meditation can be your concentrating on what is being said in the meeting, of being present and focused).

On page 88 of the Big Book it states :

It works - It really does.

Page 88 also gives the A.A. Big Book 11th Step Prayer : Thy will be done."

It works, it really does!

OCT 11, 18 .. STEP TEN

October, the 10th month of the year has arrived. It is now time to discuss my thoughts on the 10th Step.

Step 10 : Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

We have many sayings in A.A. 

One goes states ..

All of the steps are important. Work them in order. They were numbered for a reason.

Of course this is basically true. At the same time, they are not meant to paralyze you with delays and indecision. Get on with them. Steps 1 through 7 can be done in literally a matter of  several hours.

Does this fact that the first seven steps can be done in a matter of a few hours shock you?

Consider the fact that, according to our written history in World Service Conference approved literature, the following facts are indisputable. 

Doctor Bob made his Amends ON the same day that he took his last drink. There was no Big Book, there were no steps. He just went out and promptly made his amends.

Do I personally recommend doing this? No! I certainly do not. But don't spend the rest of your life stuck on Step 9 either.

The most important thing to the early members was their quiet time (read prayer and meditation) in the morning. It's a wonder Step 11 was not put in as Step 2.

Why are we trying to stop people from immediately getting the benefits of Step 11 by saying they must work the steps in order, 1 through 12?

Newcomers with literally hours or WOW, even a few days dry, were helping other newcomers still in the hospital. So much for all of our 'unwritten requirements' for people to sponsor (you must have so many days / weeks / months / even years to sponsor).

For me, Step 10 is extremely important.

Step 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

I will repeat the above. For the rest of our lives we are to continue to take personal inventory and to make amends when we are wrong or have harmed someone else.

What this amazing Step 10 does is this : 

Because you will continue to take personal inventory for the rest of your life, you can get through your Step 4 inventory quickly. I was given one hour to write down the things I was going to take-to-my-grave with me. 

Whatever you will miss (and yes, you will miss a lot of things) on your first pass through your 4th Step, you will find later doing Step 10 work.

The same for Step 9. Making amends is a life-long, ongoing process for us IF we want to follow our Design For Living given us in the 12 Steps. So when you come to Steps 8 and 9, get-on-with-them quickly and continue the process the rest of your life.

My Sponsor of now over 30-years, Jim C, in the San Francisco Bay Area gave to me the following gift.

THE WRITTEN 10th STEP ..

A WRITTEN TENTH (10^th) STEP .. as taught me by Jim ‘C’ in San Francisco ..

In the last full paragraph at the bottom of page 84 of the ‘Big Book’ .. we are  told .. “This is not an overnight matter.  It should continue for our lifetime.  Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear.  When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them.  We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone.”

Below is a WRITTEN TENTH (10th) STEP . This is to be done in hand using pen / pencil and paper NOT on a computer!

Write down the Third Step Prayer (page 63 of the ‘A.A. Big Book’).  “God, I offer myself to thee – to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!”

Now write:  ‘I have resentments.’

List what you are feeling: ‘I resent ________’.  Continue listing resentments until you cease to actively feel them.  Do NOT stop to ponder them ! 

Now write: ‘I have fears.’

List your fears: ‘I fear (I am afraid of) _________’ . Continue listing your fears until you cease to actively feel them.  Do NOT sit and ponder them!

Now you are going to do a second cycle. This second look at your resentments and fears is why you do NOT sit and ponder what you are going to write in the first cycle above. 

Again write: ‘I resent ________’. Continue listing resentments until you cease to actively feel them. IF you have no resentments on this second cycle just write: “I have no more resentments.”

Again write: ‘I fear (I am afraid of) _________’ . Continue listing fears until you cease to actively feel them. IF you have no fears this second time through just write .. “I have no more fears.”

Write: “God, I am now willing to have you remove these resentments and these fears.”

Write: “God, please remove these resentments and these fears.”

Write the Seventh Step Prayer (page 76 of the ‘A.A. Big Book’). “My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.”

Write the Eleventh Step Prayer  (page 88 of ‘The A.A. Big Book: “Thy will be done.”

Write: “Thank you God” .. “I love you God” ..

 /s/ sign you name and date your Tenth Step ..

THEN READ YOUR  ENTIRE TENTH  STEP TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.

You have just worked eight of the twelve steps !

Step 3 .. you wrote the Third Step Prayer.

Step 4 .. you wrote a short inventory on resentments and fears.

Step 6 .. you became ready to have God to remove your defects of character.

Step 7 .. you humbly asked God to please remove them AND you wrote the Seventh Step Prayer !

Step 11 .. you wrote the Eleventh Step Prayer.

Step 5 .. you shared it with another human being.

Step 10 .. is the above process.

Step 12 .. you have worked with another.

IF NECESSARY .. do an 8^th and a 9^th step .. in concert with the 10^th step above.

Often when I do the above written Tenth Step I also will write about anger I am feeling. I also will write about Gratitude that I am feeling.

I often suggest to newcomers that they do the above process for ten consecutive days. 

I have watched lives change before my very eyes.

There you have it. My thoughts on Step 10.

SEP 23, 18 .. STEP NINE

September (the 9th month) has arrived and it is time for a few words about Step 9.

Step 9 : Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

The 9th step discussion in the Big Book begins on page 76.

SPIRITUAL AWAKENING / EXPERIENCE

Below is an example of a Spiritual Experience.

As a direct result of working the 9th step, I had the following spiritual experience.

IF (and this is debatable) I have anything original to contribute to Step 9 it is this :

IF you have gone through the Amends process of Step 9, there is a good chance that some of your amends have been uncomfortable. 

Speaking for myself, I feel that as human beings, most of us do not like to do things that are uncomfortable. 

And what on this good earth does this have to do with Step 9?

To quote Doctor Bob, "If you love everyone in A.A. you have not been going to enough meetings!"

And the day came when I was facing one of the unlovable-ones and I wanted to 'let-him-have-it' with both barrels. I wanted to 'sock-it-to-him'.

Then the thought came to me :

"If I say, and If I do, what I want to say and to do, then (at least if I am honest with myself and if I want to work a complete program) I will have to make an Amend to him. This (make an Amend) I do not want to do to this sorry-s.o.b. So I will just shut my mouth, say nothing, and walk away a free-man."

And I did just that.

The above actual experience is an example of a Spiritual Experience.

Instead of telling this man off, I kept my mouth shut so I would not have to make an amend to him. This is a change in my behavior and Appendix II of The Big Book talks about this change in ourselves being a spiritual experience.

What a learning experience actually living these steps is for us.

Doctor Bob's last words to Bill Wilson were : "Remember Bill, let's not louse this thing up. Let's keep it simple."

I wonder if everyone knows that, on the very day of his last drink, Doctor Bob made the rounds of Akron, Ohio, and made his Amends to those people he felt he needed to come-clean with.

In June of 1935 there was no Big Book. There were no steps. There were only two Alcoholics working with each other trying to stay sober.

I personally don't recommend that anyone do this (go out on their first day sober and make Amends) but the process certainly can proceed a tad quicker than many people make it.

I have one friend that basically did just this. To his regret, some 15-years later, he and his wife still have serious and severe issues with what he said to her about his conduct while an active alcoholic.

Step 9 : Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

In his hasty process, my friend certainly injured his wife.

Bottom Line : Have a Sponsor. Work closely with your Sponsor.

Good luck. Enjoy the promises that come with the 9th Step (pages 83 and 84 in the Big Book).

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are halfway through. It means halfway through the 9th step.

AUG 22, 18 .. STEP EIGHT

Welcome to August, the 8th month of the year, and Step 8.

Step 8 : Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willling to make amends to them all.

Step 8 is another of the 'action steps'. We take-the-action to pick up a pen / pencil along with some paper and make a written list of all persons we had harmed.

The action verb in Step 8 is willing. Before beginning to work the suggested 12-steps of recovery, in Chapter 5, How It Works, we decided that we wanted what AA has to offer and were also willing to go-to-any-length to get it.

When at Step 8, I ask that a member write down at least one name from their Step 4 Inventory and immediately make an amend to that person. We discuss this individual and how to go about one's amend to them.

Taking this immediate action gets the Step 8 and 9 process into action.

Which is to say, that Steps 8 and 9 are worked together.

AUG 6, 18 .. DOUG .. THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES ..

Doug was one of my very closest friends in A.A. After a long illness, he passed on to The-Meeting-In-The-Sky to join our other members who have passed on. 

I wrote the below letter to Doug.

Monday, August 6, 2018

Dear Doug  (a bit of a poignant pause)

How do I  go back to 1986, and all of the Noon Meetings at '44 Montgomery Street'? And all of the Saturday Morning meetings at 'Pierce and Clay'. And 7 days a week, from early morning until late at night at '1010 Valencia' pronounced 'Ten ten Valencia'. And then after the 'Pierce and Clay' meeting ceased, Saturday Morning meetings at St. Dominic's School, Pine and Steiner. Sure, add in a few at Tuesday Downtown on Nob Hill at Grace Cathedral. These are but the tip of a proverbial iceberg of meetings we frequented back-in-the-day Doug.

Lord! The people (the crowd) with whom we were enmeshed Doug, as we all trudged the road of happy destiny together. Whew! Did I just refer to them as people Doug? How about 'colorful characters'! Oh my yes! Boys and Girls both. Sad to write (at age 81) many names have slipped away. But, in my mind's-eye, I can still 'see' many of them.

One, however, must be named.

Si (Silas) Payne! A Giant among Giants (another lengthy, poignant pause Doug. I re-read the above lines and experienced some moments of a waivering / tremulous voice and yes Doug, watering eyes too).

What a man Si was Doug.

"You are telling me about Si?" /s/ Doug in the next realm

Then I left my beloved San Francisco, home for more than a few decades, to follow a path set before me by God.

And, through many Post Cards from around the world, we stayed in-touch.

Hong Kong (was it 2002 in July) you bailed me out of an internet challenge over there by forwarding my e-mails to you (for reasons I'll never understand you were receiving my e-mails) along to my network of friends.

Back in 1996, you hosted us at your place in the Embarcadero Center off Battery Street. It seems like it was yesterday Doug. Crystal clear.

One time I shared in a meeting about my vomiting blood during an alcoholic crisis. You popped up with this : "I just drank more to cauterize the internal bleeding."

How about you getting struck by a car in New Orleans? What a mess that was. If my memory serves me correctly Doug, you were on the sidewalk!

Oh the memories Doug.

The Nevada Years. We visited you and stayed with you in Dayton. Odd that one of our own family members and his wife have a place in Dayton and the three of you are attorneys.

Oh yes. Some very challenging times too Doug. Your fall from a ladder as you were changing a light bulb not to mention the Big C (cancer). And through it all! You stood tall.

And now?

Your void hurts Doug. Through it all, through thick and thin, from early 1986 we stayed close-in-touch, a real bond!

Man Oh Manischewitz I miss you.

I'll sign off with love and a line from Bob Hope ..

Doug! Thanks for the memories.

With Love 

JUL 25, 18 .. STEP SEVEN

The month of July, the 7th month of the year, has arrived and it is time for a thought-or-two about Step 7.

Step 7 : Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings

Steps 6 and 7 certainly overlap each other to some extent.

Step 6 talks of character defects. Step 7 talks of shortcomings. 

Going back to last month, with regard to Step 6, I was taught that a defect is an overt, an obvious, an identifiable action / activity.

Lying, Cheating, Stealing, Bullying, Rape, Racism, Resentment, Anger, Fear, Cowardice, Self pity,
Self justification, Self importance, Egotism, Self condemnation, Guilt, Evasiveness, Dishonesty,  Perfectionism, Impatience, People-pleasing, Apathy, Laziness, Resentment, Hatred, Rage, Selfishness, Pride, Hubris, Arrogance, Envy, Lust, Gluttony. 

Now to Step 7 and shortcomings.

I was taught that a short coming is falling-short of ideal goals and standards of behavior.

In my own personal opinion, shortcomings are a real challenge to deal with. First they are fairly intangible. In many situations only I myself am aware of a shortcoming.

Here is one example : 

I love to watch sporting events live and also on televison. Often I have the feeling of, "I should be doing something to help another alcoholic / another person instead of watching this sporting event. 

We all wait one full year to watch an NFL football Super Bowl. We wait four full years to watch soccer's World Cup games. IF I am not careful, I can readily spoil my enjoyment of something special that I really enjoy and love with the negative word should.

The 7th Step Prayer :

My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character that stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go our from here, to do your bidding. Amen

I will quote the last line of the second full paragraph in the AA Big Book on page 76 that follows the 7th Step Prayer that reads as follows : 

We have then completed Step Seven.

Say The 7th Step Prayer with some reverence and sincerely and move onto Step 8.

I was taught to continue to say, on a daily basis, the 7th Step Prayer and that God would give me opportunities to practice Steps 6 and 7.

JUN 28, 18 .. STEP SIX

When Bill Wilson was writing the steps and getting things organized, he evidently came upon the concept of 12s. 

12 Steps. 12 Traditons. 12 Concepts of World Service.

I don't think for one moment that he did this consciously or by design. That is, when he wrote the 12 Steps, I doubt if he began thinking, "I will make 12 Steps." In fact there is reason to believe that he began with 6 Steps and ended up with 12.

Amazingly nice that each calendar month has its very own step or tradition or concept.

Step 6 : Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Step 6 helps us get the willingness to change.

Steps 6 and 7 go together like the proverbial hand and glove. In the A.A. Big Book they are lumped together in three paragraphs on pages 75 and 76. Step Six is mentioned once at the top of page 76 and then he wrote at the end of the second paragraph on page 76, "We have then completed Step Seven."

As the Big Book states, willingness is the key to Step Six.

Willingness also appears in Chapter 5, "If you have decided you want what we have, and are willing to go to any length to get it -- then you are ready to take certain steps."

IF I can add anything to any discussion about Steps Six and Seven it is this.

Step Six mentions defects.
Step Seven mentions shortcomings.

What is the difference? 

I was taught that a defect is an actual flaw of character.

Lying, Cheating, Stealing, Bullying, Rape, Racism, Resentment, Anger, Fear, Cowardice, Self Pity, Self justification,

Self importance, Egotism, Guilt, Self condemnation, Evasiveness, Dishonesty, Impatience.

Perfectionism, People-pleasing, Apathy, Laziness, Resentment, Hatred, Rage, Selfishness, Pride, Hubris, Arrogance, Envy, Lust, Gluttony. 

On the other hand I was taught a shortcoming is falling short. Failing to do something that you 'should' do.

Shortcomings are killers for me.  

When I am home watching the Super Bowl, I think, "Am I falling short of God's Will for me? Instead of sitting here watching this football game, 'should' I be out helping a struggling alcoholic?"

I ask anyone that I work with to memorize the Sixth and Seventh Step Prayer. It will be found on page 76. And to pray it daily.

"My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefullness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen."

Pray the prayer, continue to pray it daily, and see what happens with your defects and shortcomings.

I was taught that you do not get rid of character defects by working on them and thinking about them. 

NO! 

You REPLACE DEFECTS WITH POSITIVE AFFECTS.

You don't walk around all day saying to yourself, "Today I am not going to take a drink." All this does is to put drinking into your immediate consciousness.

Instead think to yourself, "Today I am going to be sober." This way you are placing sobriety into the front of you mind. 

MAY 29, 18 .. STEP FIVE

Step 5  : Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Step 5 certainly seems very straight forward.

I again repeat the words of Step 5, with emphasis placed upon three words .. 

Step 5 - Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Step 5 does not say one's sponsor.

Step 5 does not say (plural) human beings. You do your Step 5 with one other person. IF you so choose, you certainly can do it with several people, BUT the emphasis here is on another human being

You most certainly can share it with a sponsor but Step 5 does not mandate that you do so.

You may think, "Who else can I share my 4th Step with?"

That list is endless! 

IF you choose not to share your 4th Step with your sponsor, you may do so with a religious person such as a minister / rabbi / priest, a professional therapist, a taxi driver, you may go to another city and find a temporary sponsor in a meeting to share your 4th Step with. Again that list of other human beings is endless.

IF you do choose to share it with someone totally outside of AA, I suggest that, before sharing your 4th Step with them, you at the very least explain to them what you are doing and why you are doing it. You may even want to read to them applicable parts of the Big Book and the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions that mention / discuss the 4th and 5th Steps.

Now I come to something that I feel is very important.

I want to bring up something that I seldom ever hear mentioned in Step 5 discussions.

Some professional therapists / religious clergy / para-legals / etc et al, may have taken a formal oath as part of their employment, that they will report to legal authorities any knowledge they hear about certain crimes.

Some crimes have no statue of limitations. 

So before you reveal certain (call them very dark) aspects of your 4th Step, be aware you may be opening yourself up to serious legal implications. Members of the fellowship have been imprisoned because of revealing serious crimes to another during their 5th Step.

Good Luck as you take this very important step. 

MAY 10, 18 .. POWERLESSNESS .. A TEXT FROM A FRIEND ..

A friend just sent me the below text message :

"I talked all afternoon to a young man who is a recovering drug addict. He thinks because his primary addiction is Meth he can go ahead and drink alcohol with impunity. He has just completed 9 months in a half way house. How can I convince him otherwise or should I even try? He is age 22-years. I am deeply concerned."

Thanks Lonnie for your text. 

The first thing that 'jumps-into-my-mind' are our 'real' steps 1 and 2 on page 58 of the AA Big Book.

The 'real' Step 1 : IF you want what we have..

The 'real' Step 2 : AND are willing to go to any length to get it..

Then you are ready to take certain steps.

What do we have Lonnie? What is it we ask of a newcomer when we say IF you want what we have?

In AA we have a design-for-living. 

Our way-of-living, our design-for-daily-living does NOT include drinking alcohol with impunity does it?

So right-off-the-bat this young man does not seem to want what we have does he?

Another thought, another philosophy I live with:

No human being can be all things, to all people, in all places, at all times.

With an age difference of 45-years between the two of you, I wonder IF you can get past the 'age-hurdle' Lonnie. It seems to me that a 22-year old would be more apt to listen to a peer, specifically one who is in recovery from a Meth addiction.

Now let's think about our primary purpose. Tradition 1 (We can't be all things to all people), Tradition 3 (The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking) and Traditon 5 (Each group has but one primary purpose) come to mind.

Now to the real magic that created AA. One alcoholic (Bill W) working with another alcoholic (Dr. Bob).

We have a life at risk here. A 22-year old Meth Addict.  

Lonnie are you a Meth addict? Do you have experience with the use of Meth? Can you tell him it is OK to drink with impunity and remain Meth-free based upon your own actual experience?

As I basically said above, what this young man needs is this : IF he wants recovery and IF he is willing to pursue it, he needs to find another Meth addict, more his age, who is in recovery and who wants and is willing to DO anything to be free of Meth.

Only another recovering Meth addict can fully answer his questions.

To feel good, do good.

You don't want to just-drop-him. Be there for him without taking-him-to-raise. Point him in the right direction (find another Meth addict to work with) assuring him you want the best for him. But do not give up yourself and your beliefs Lonnie. The young man is responsible for finding his own road to recovery.

Smiles and Thanks For The Gift of You Lonnie.

APR 28, 18 .. STEP FOUR

In Posts dated January 30, 18, February 28, 18, and March 30, 18, I discussed my ideas about each of the first three steps of Alcohoholics Anonymous.

On page 58 of the Big Book, prior to the steps that appear on pages 59 and 60 are the following words ..

If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go  to any length to get it - then you are ready to take certain steps.

One has to want this program. Further one has to be willing to go to any length to get it. 


So, IF you want this program, and are willing to go to any length to get it, THEN you are ready to take the suggested twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Step 1 : We must acknowledge / admit we have a problem. If we don't do this, how are we going to solve a problem?

Step 2 : We acknowledge that we need outside help from a greater power. We acknowledge that we have not solved our own problems with alcohol and need help.

Step 3 : We make a decision to get this outside help.

The time has come to take action. In AA, this means taking a moral inventory.

Step 4 : Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Bill Wilson, our co-founder, began to write the book, Alcoholics Anonymous, in March of 1938.

The book was completed in April of 1939. Basically the book sat idle in the publisher's warehouse for a few years into the early 1940s. 

The point is this : From May of 1939 until the early 1940's, the steps were not-in-daily-use by the members. Yet the early members of the fellowship were getting, and staying, sober. Without them we  would not have AA as we have it today. So don't beat-yourself-up over step 4. 

A friend in Detroit, a true long-timer, used to carry matchbooks in his pocket.  When a newcomer would appear in a meeting, after the meeting, he he would sit down with them. Discuss steps 1 - 3. Then he would take out a matchbook, rip out the matches, hand the empty matchbook to the newcomer, and tell him to write down the things he was going to take to his grave on the matchbook cover! Sit and wait with the newcomer, and when finished, do a Step 5. 

My first sponsor had a sponsor. My Grand Sponsor was sober in 1938 before the AA Big Book appeared. On Step 4 I was given one hour, with an 8-1/2 - 11 lined pad, and told to write down the things that I was going to take-to-my-grave.

In my humble opinion, we are making far-too-much out of  Step 4.

In Step 10, we will continue to take inventory and admit our wrongs. So what we may miss in Step 4, we have ample opportunity to catch in Step 10.

Here is my final thought on Step 4.

Before you begin to write your Step 4, and as you are actually writing it, DO NOT decide whom you will share it with in Step 5. IF you decide to whom you will share it, you may begin to think to yourself, "I don't want him / her to hear this." and you may begin to tailor your Step 4 to who will hear it and leave out things you don't want them to hear.

I repeat : Step 5 simply says for us to share our 4th Step with another human being. Step 5 does not say to share Step 4 with one's sponsor. Certainly you may share it with a sponsor, but it is not mandated that you do so.

Radical? Not to me. I lived this process.

MAR 30, 18 .. STEP THREE

Step 3 : Made a decision turn our will and our life over to the care of God as we understood Him.

When I got to Step Three, my sponsor said to me : 

What does Step Three say?

I replied .. "We turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."

He snapped back .. "It doesn't say that at all. How can you turn your will and your life over to the care of God?"

He then went on to say .. "Go to page 59 of the Big Book and read to me Step 3."

I did so stating .. "Made a decison .."

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" he said.

"We make a decision to do something. We decide to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."

"And exactly how do we make that decision?" 

"Go to page 63 of the Big Book and read the Third Step Prayer."

"God, I offer myself to Thee -- to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!"

Say the Third Step Prayer daily. Say it often daily. Keep saying it. Keep reaffirming your decision, through the Third Step Prayer, that God is in charge of your life.

Now back to my High School Latin class in the fall of 1950.

Sitting next to me on my left was a fellow student who was wearing eye glasses.  Fooling around, as I tended to do in class, I reached over across his face with my right hand and I took off his eye glasses and put them on.

Oh My Gosh! I Can See The Blackboard! Oh My Gosh! I Can See The Leaves On The Trees Outside The Window!

You see? I did not know that I could not see normally. I did not know that I had a problem.

That was Step 1. 

Step 2 was realizing that I could not solve my vision problems and that I needed a Power Greater Than Myself to do so.

Step 3, I decided to find an eye doctor to help me.

Three birds are on a fence. Two birds 'decide' to fly away. How many birds remain on the fence? All three. A decision is only a decision. You must take an action based upon your decision.

Next month Step 4.

FEB 28, 18 .. STEP TWO

Last month I shared about Step 1. 

Now it is time for me to address Step 2.

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, Chapter 5, How It Works, page 59, states :

Step 2 .. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

As I have mentioned from time-to-time, my original sponsor, Bill B from Los Angeles, also addicted to drugs, had a sponsor. This would make Bill's sponsor my 'Grand Sponsor'.

Bill's sponsor was Clarence Henry Snyder from Cleveland, Ohio, who's story, the Home Brewmeister, was in the second and third additions of our AA Big Book.

Clarence got sober in March of 1938, upstairs in Doctor Bob's home, beside the bed, on his knees, asking God for help and praying.

I point this out for this simple reason : In March of 1938, the AA Big Book had not yet been written, let alone published and distributed to the early AA members.

So from Bill B and Clarence I received a somewhat different message about the steps and the recovery process.

I was taught to say Step 2 thusly : Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us from the insanity of the first drink.

To this day, to this moment, I prefer this version (being restored from the insanity of the first drink) of the second step than as published in the Big Book.

Last month, writing about Step 1, I talked about being in a High School Latin class and my not knowing that I could not read the words on the blackboard because of being near-sighted.

http://aaphotoshere.blogspot.com/2018/01/jan-30-18-january-step-one.html

Suddenly, realizing that I had a problem and could not read the writing on the blackboard, could I solve that issue myself? No I could not.

This is all that Step 2 is! Realizing (in Step 1) that I had a problem that I could NOT (Step 2) solve myself. I needed to see an optometrist and get fitted for eye glasses! In AA we need to find God and get some help with our alcoholism.

Simple huh? We are making far too much out of the steps. 

I have a problem (Step 1) and I need help (Step 2) to solve my problem.

JAN 30, 18 .. STEP ONE

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, Chapter 5, How It Works, page 59, states :

Step 1 .. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.

I wonder how many members fully realize that there are two steps that come before we get to the above Step 1?

On page 58, prior to the steps that appear on pages 59 and 60 are the following words.

If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go  to any length to get it - then you are ready to take certain steps.

One has to want this program. Further one has to be willing to go to any length to get it. 

So IF you want this program and are willing to go to any length to get it THEN you are ready to take the suggested twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

What exactly is step 1.

Allow me to share a true story with you.

In 1950, I was sitting in a High School latin language class. Little did I know on that long ago school morning, that my life was about to change forever. 

Sitting next to me on my left was a fellow student who was wearing eye glasses.  Fooling around, as I tended to do in class, I reached over across his face with my right hand and I took off his eye glasses and put them on.

Oh My Gosh! I Can See The Blackboard! Oh My Gosh! I Can See The Leaves On The Trees Outside The Window!

You see? I did not know that I could not see normally. I did not know that I had a problem. If one does not know that one has a problem, there can not possibly be a solution to the problem.

This is what Step 1 is. Step 1 is the simple admission that one has a problem with alcohol.

This should be a simple yes or no. Yes I have a problem. No I do not have a problem.

Next month I will write about my thoughts on Step 2. 

JAN 1, 18 .. HAPPY AND OF COURSE .. SOBER NEW YEAR 2018

TO ALL ..

HAPPY AND OF COUSE ..

BEST WISHES FOR A ..

SOBER UPCOMING NEW YEAR 2018.

Here we are, a new and a fresh NEW YEAR 2018.I hope everyone made it through the holidays sober.

Sad to say, I realize that this will not be the case. With the best of intentions to remain sober, the holiday season takes-its-toll on many of us. In the final analysis, the the holiday season is very intense and extremely stressful.

If by chance anyone who 'slipped' during this past holiday season is following along here, I hope, and yes I pray, that you find your way back 'into-the-rooms'. If you are washed off the deck of a ship by a wave, you will only drown if you stay in the water.

So please swallow whatever your pride and negative thinking that your ego may attempt to dictate to you and return to the rooms. The passage of time has verified that, in most instances, we cannot do this alone. We need God and we need others to work with. 

If you made it through OK and maybe even with 'flying colors' CONGRATULATIONS. Please welcome back those who are able and willing to return to the rooms.

BEST WISHES FOR A SOBER 2018